The Marketing Department Needs a Hard Slap Across the Chops
Several years ago I did quite a riff on stupid car names. It’s good stuff, go back and read it if you get a chance.
In that same vein comes today’s post.
Stupid cell phone names. Yup, the mobile phone manufacturers have gone well past idiot car names and have slipped into ridiculous.
Since I work way, way too much with mobile phones, I have to not only see these dumb names, but utter them aloud.
Here’s my personal top eleven list of “Someone Should Get Slapped for that Brand Name”
- HTC Salsa: Seriously? Salsa? Because I’m going to dip a chip into the device? Bleah. Just Bleah!
- Palm Pre: The suffix pre means before. So this is the phone that’s what? Before the actual phone? Before the demise of Palm? Before HP killed it?
- Samsung :): Oh how I wish I was making that up. The actual name of the phone is :) How do you even go to the store and ask for that? “Um, yes, I’d like a sideways smiley please?” Lame. Lame. Lame.
- HTC Rhyme : Rhymes with stupid.
- Casio G’zOne Commando: First of all I can’t get over Casio, maker of tacky Dad-watches is also making phones. This is a kind of cool looking device, but godDAMN it’s a bad name. First of all, what the eff is G’zOne? And second of all, commando makes me think of going without chones. I don’t think my mobile device should evoke that.
- Motorola Citrus : Mmmmm! Lemony!
- Motorola Photon : I tested this device and I actually liked it a lot. But neither The Good Man nor I could stop pointing the device at each other and going “pew pew!” It is, after all, a photon. Pew!
- LG Remarq : One, you misspelled it. Two, my remarks are “WHAT THE SEVENTEEN KINDS OF SAM HELL ARE YOU THINKING with this name?!?!” That concludes my remarqs.
- Sanyo Innuendo : I heard a rumor this was a cool device, but it was just innuendo.
- LG Rumor : Oh for crimeny’s sakes!
- LG Thrill : I’m left…unthrilled.
That’s it, I’m done. I could go on and on. There is really no end to silly device names. I think the phone manufacturers think they are being clever.
I think they are anything but.
Not for nothing, but these are almost all Android devices. I used to think iPhone was a boring name. Right now it looks pretty damn good.
Don’t EVEN get me started on Google’s cutesy operating system names….
Cell phone art by Rob Pettit
This is a pretty tenuous use of Theme Thursday‘s theme of: Thrill