Notes from the brain pan

First of all, to all the good folks, including both mom and mom-in-law, who are concerned about the posts related to my troubles at work, thank you for being concerned. This week has turned out a bit better.

Also, I got paid today, and that always helps improve the outlook.

I imagine I’ll survive this. Or I won’t. Either way, the sun will come up again tomorrow and I’ll have to face another day. And I’ll have to face myself in the mirror. The way I do that is by knowing I did my best, worked my hardest and did so with humility.



Next…thanks to the gentleman driving the Explorer in the lane next to me on Wednesday morning. I was running late for work (overslept the alarm, snarf!) and I was, yes, speeding. But so were you. Thanks to your slower response time, I was able to take my foot off the gas first, you shot past me, and that nice CHP officer paid you a visit instead of me.

Whew. I have two months left on the eighteen months since my last ticket (you can only mask one traffic violation every 18 months), so you really saved me there!


Don’t know if you are experiencing the same thing where you’re at, but to me, it’s like everyone in society is moving along in a fog. Making bonehead moves on the road. Bumping into me at the grocery. Looking at me blankly when I ask a question.

So, a nod to The Good Man for best summing up society’s recent weirdness:


“We had the buildup from the campaign, then the excitement of the election, anticipation of the new president and then finally the climax of the inauguration. It’s like the whole country just needs a cigarette.”

And a salty snack.



Speaking of salty snacks…am I going to be the only person in the US not watching the Superbowl this weekend?

Because, really, Pittsburgh vs Arizona?

Sure, I know that AZ is the Cinderella story. Whatever. I could care less.

And Pittsburgh. Do we really need to see them win again?

I might whip up a batch of salty snacks, however, and watch Season 2 of The Muppet Show. I found it at the library and it’s providing much singing along and childish giggles from TGM and me.

Best thing to watch after a rough day at work, I’ll tell you THAT.


Or maybe I should just have a cheese sandwich.

Been watching cheese sandwich-gate in the ABQjournal with interest. Oh Fair New Mexico, you still do scandal in a fun way.

Love it. And from what I’m reading, the press coverage has brought in quite a bit of the delinquent money! Nice.


Lastly, the weather is messin’ with my head. Sunny and 70’s. Rainy and cold. Then just clear and cold. And today, back to the 70’s.

Mother Nature, you are FREAKING me out, maaahn.

But I’m not complaining about the sun. I’ll take it.

That is all.

Happy Weekend!

Perspective is a beautiful thing.

So, really, this new job is blowing my mind. I knew that changing jobs after almost ten years at a rather quirky company would be difficult. Challenging. Would test my bounds.

It’s been all of that and more.

I’ve been here two months and I’m still struggling. They promised the learning curve here is at least six months, but me, being both impatient and a chronic overachiever, feel like I should be up and running fast. Contributing to the work. Being useful and value added.

So far I’ve been mostly a bump on a log that asks a LOT of questions and says, “Are you sure?” upon hearing the mind-blowing responses. Oh, yes, this is a very backwards organization.

Last week I sort of had a breaking point. I wasn’t feeling great physically and I had my second “called into the principal’s office” to be told “what you did wasn’t *wrong*, it just wasn’t The Company way.”

You know the drill, you are right but you are still wrong. Won the battle but lost the war. And other platitudes.

I went home demoralized, a new hole punched in my self-esteem. I cried on The Good Man’s shoulder. Considered packing it in. Wondered how I could have had a successful fifteen year career in my chosen field and still can’t get it right in this two-bit flea circus.

So the weekend came and went. I got some sleep. My immune system kicked in, and I started feeling better, physically at least.

I made my way to work Monday, and it wasn’t so bad. Tuesday came and went. That brings us to today, Wednesday.

Starting my day, I was reading the headlines and saw the latest report on the doings of our new President. The story was about Obama needling the Washingtonians for shutting down schools due to ice. Said that his Chicago daughters play outside in that kind of weather.

It was a fun, humanizing story. But it also made me think.

This guy’s got a new job, too.

And if he makes a misstep, it’s not only reported to the world, it impacts the world.

He doesn’t just get called into the boss lady’s office for a talking to, he’s got real issues.

So maybe, for as freaked out and demoralized I am about this new gig, it could, definitely be worse.

I mean my coworkers both in my own organization and across the board, including my predecessor, want me to succeed. Everyone is trying to help me get acclimated. I don’t have to take the slings and arrows of Congress, snotty media and opposing party’s interests. I don’t have to remember what I promised last year during the interview and then deliver.

No one is watching my first 100 days, other than my immediate manager.

I don’t live under the hot fire of the magnifying glass.

Then again, Obama’s also got a horde of advisors. Maybe I need more advisors.


What is this strange ritualistic dance?

This morning, driving to work, I saw many of my fellow Californians doing something odd…strange…weird….and yet, it felt vaguely familiar.

Yes, I passed the residential roads of my neighborhood and saw my fellow citizens by their cars…behaving oddly.

Some were using credit cards.

Others slapping with a newspaper.

One using just his bare hands.

All looked out of place.

Seems we had some low temps last night and these poor Californians were having to actually scrape the frost off their windshields.

I was never so happy for being able to park my car in the garage!

Oh I have scraped many a windshield in my day. Oh yes indeed.

I *hate* it.

Living in mile high Albuquerque, it was even worse when it snowed. So you’d brush off the snow, and THEN have to tackle the frost. Usually in my nice work clothes and high heels…in the wet and the mud. Boo!

Here, I don’t even own an ice scraper. I threw it away somewhere around year 2 post move. Don’t need it.

Clearly, no one else around here owns one either. The guy slapping his window with a newspaper gave me the most giggles. Beating the ice into submission? That is SO not going to work.

Thankfully it was a light frost and really, just starting up the car and getting the defroster going for several minutes would probably clear it up.

But the perplexed looks and utter consternation. That was good comedy as I sailed by in my warm, garage parked Jeep.


Yanno, I’m really ticked at the economy. Sure, I have a good job and a paycheck, but I’m finding that saving a few more of my shekels is a grand idea.

“Cash is King!” or so shouts all of the financial hacks who think they know better. Those same ones who told us all to invest in real estate.


The problem with this financial austerity is that there are still lovely things in the retail world that entice me. Sing to me. Make me want to break out my paid off credit card and charge, baby, charge!

The latest little gem that’s got my eye is this:

(click photo for specs)

This is Polaroid’s latest entre into the world of photography.

It’s called a PoGo and is a digital camera. But it also has built in an inkless photo printer so you can instantly print photos of your choosing, when you want.

Now…this baby is only 5.0 megapixels, so it’s not wowing the photographic world.

But I love me a Polaroid camera. And by love, I mean LOVE. I had one as a kid. I own several now.

I was a *fool* for Polaroid’s I-zone that made these teeny sticky photos. I carried that thing everywhere.

I have tiny photos ALL over my journals from around the early 2000’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my high end camera and the gloriousness of the photos I can take. The depth of detail is amazing.

That said, I want the PoGo bad, because it’s FUN and *boop*, there’s a photo print.


Here’s the ouchie part.

It’s not available until March and I think will have a price point of $200.

I feel like two hundy is a little high for a Polaroid, but maybe if I’m very good and save my pennies, by this summer I can be shooting and printing and generally giggling over my new Polaroid cam.

My folks taught me that if you want a big ticket item, you gotta work a little for it.

So ok. Back to work. I get paid this week. After rent, end of month bills and credit card payments, there won’t be much left. But maybe I can put away a few.

Damn, I’m so fiscally conservative it makes my teeth hurt.

When really, I just want to be like Animal from The Muppet Show.

“CAM-ER-A!!! CAM-ER-A!!!! ME WANT!!!”