Yeah, Well Describe *THIS* In One Word

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So there I was, working through some writing exercises, trying to get the old mind working. Things were going decently well, I guess. The “Describe ten things you see right at this moment” went fine. “Describe the street you grew up on” was a pretty good lesson in adjectives.

The juices were flowing, things were happening.

And then this happened: Describe a color in one word

What. The?

I don’t know….maybe I’m just tired but this writing exercise hit me all wrong. It flipped the snarky switch.

The first color I could think of was yellow.

One word to describe yellow? Pee.

There. Done.

Red. How about one word for that? Hmm…let me dig deep.

Blood.

Green?

Snot.

Blue?

Bruise.

Orange?

Is it wrong that the only orange thing I can think of is an orange?

Purple?

Yeah, you know what? This is a stupid exercise. I’m moving on….





Theme Song

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Back in the day, I used to watch that show Ally McBeal. You know, the one about the skinny neurotic lawyer? The reason I got to thinking about that show lately has to do with my job.

I’ve been in the middle of frying pan and also the fire here at work. There is a LOT going on; notably a project that fell off the rails and I’ve had to step in to clean it up. Always fun cleaning up someone else’s mess….

Anyhoo.

What I used to dig about that show were scenes that showed the John Cage character, played by Peter MacNicol, standing in his office or the restroom trying to summon up his theme song. This was usually before a big case or a meeting where he needed courage. Or a date. The theme song changed depending on the situation.

Yesterday I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom trying to summon up such courage. I’d been running late to the meeting, then the conference room my boss booked was too small, so I hoofed chairs from every other conference room so all the execs could have a place for their tushy.

Before we got started, I took a break to the ladies room to quite literally wipe the sweat off my brow, take a breath, and get my game face on. I knew I was going to be the only person from my company who would be a bit fierce with our under performing supplier. My boss told me straight up he is non-confrontational, and so in these cases, I have to do it. Which is fine by me, it just takes a certain frame of mind.

I needed a theme song to summon the courage, but seems the music half of my brain was failing me.

So this morning in a quieter frame of mind, I got to thinking…what is my own personal theme song?

For those times where I got to go in agro, usually the song I pull up is “Headstrong” by Trapt. The hard baseline helps, and shouting the lyrics aloud in the car on the way to a meeting is quite liberating.

They go something like “backoff I’ll take you on/headstrong to take on anyone/I know that you are wrong/and this is not where you belong.”

Yeah. Then I go in all “rawr!” and ready to take on the world.

On the days when I’m feeling like there is a black cloud hanging over my head (more days than I’d care to admit) my theme song tends to flow toward Stormy Monday by T-Bone Walker.

“They call it stormy Monday, but Tuesday’s just as bad/Wednesday’s worse, and Thursday’s also sad”

God I love that song, especially the John Lee Hooker version.

Back in the day when I used to have a really, really terrible boss (about five years back) and every day was a grind just to survive his insanity, I used to sing the lyrics to Fighter by Christina Aguilera (who I don’t usually like, but that song worked for me.) It was good to turn my adversity into gratitude.

“Made me learn a little bit faster/Made my skin a little bit thicker/Makes me that much smarter/So thanks for making me a fighter”

Then of course, during those good times when I’m thinking about The Good Man, it’s all about Johnny Rodriguez.

” ‘Cause your love put a song, put a song, put a song, in my heart/Never have I heard this beautiful music before”

Just puts a smile on my face thinking about it.

But for now, no time to be squishy. I’m at work. Back to Trapt.

“Backoff, I’ll take you on!”

Do you have a go-to theme song?





Image found at deviantART.com


Yeah, Well You Give Music a Bad Name

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Warning: Rant ahead.

I have something to say. Oh, do I have something to say.

Let’s start with the background, a blurb from the entertainment section of my local newspaper.


—————————
Jon Bon Jovi has taken aim at Apple co-founder Steve Jobs, accusing him of “killing” the music industry with iTunes.

The rocker is saddened that children no longer enjoy the “magical” experience of buying records in a store because of the ease of downloading individual tracks onto an iPod.

And he lays the blame for the generational shift in music-buying at the feet of technology mogul Jobs.

Bon Jovi tells The Sunday Times Magazine, “Kids today have missed the whole experience of putting the headphones on, turning it up to 10, holding the jacket, closing their eyes and getting lost in an album; and the beauty of taking your allowance money and making a decision based on the jacket, not knowing what the record sounded like, and looking at a couple of still pictures and imagining it.

“God, it was a magical, magical time. I hate to sound like an old man now, but I am, and you mark my words, in a generation from now people are going to say: ‘What happened?’ Steve Jobs is personally responsible for killing the music business.”

—————————


Dear Mr. Bon Jovi –

In my best Dan Aykroyd Chase imitation, circa Saturday Night Live’s “Weekend Update” in the ’70’s…

Jon, you ignorant slut.

Ok, so let’s say I’m on board with you recalling that “magical” time where one could buy an album and have NO idea, other than the photos on the jacket, what you were getting.

Let’s just agree that era was “good” for the sake of argument.

Might I just ask you if you remember something called a cassette tape? Well that sure took the shine off a vinyl album, now didn’t it?

Now…do you remember something called a cassette single?

They were pretty popular back in that crazy era called the nineteen eighties. Do you remember the eighties?

I think music buyers back then realized the value in buying only the songs they like and not having to suffer through an entire album of songs they don’t like.

Or more succinctly, having to pay for an entire album of songs they don’t like.

People might listen to MORE music if they get a chance to listen first and decide what suits their tastes.

Oh, and Jon, dearheart, perhaps all those years of bleaching your hair frizzled your brain….

Because do you remember Napster? Yeah? People were sampling single songs and downloading only what they wanted in the 1990’s…WAY before iTunes.

Do you remember that the music business was on the ropes back in the late 1990’s? The industry was talking about not making as many albums and not backing as many acts because they were not making enough money. The model, the one you wax rhapsodic about, didn’t work. That model, your ideas of “good” is what killed the music industry.

Do you know what singlehandedly saved the goddamn music industry?

Apple’s iTunes. Launched in January 2001.

By legitimizing what Napster was already doing and putting it into a reasonable for pay model, at least artists are getting SOMETHING for all those downloads of their music.

No, not good enough for you. You want me to suffer through some freaking navel gazing Bon Jovi “concept album.”

Oh Jon. I don’t think so.

Let me tell you a story. Back in the day, I took my hard earned money to a record store that used to be located on the corner of San Mateo and Menaul in Albuquerque.

That store was called Sound Warehouse, and I *loved* that record store. When I got my fresh new driver’s license at age 16, I’d drive myself there to spend my hard earned waitress wages on the music that would make me happy.

That year, everyone was chattering about this band called U2. They’d just released a very popular album called “The Joshua Tree.”

Yeah. I hemmed at hawed in the aisles of Sound Warehouse because I wasn’t sure I wanted to buy that album (on cassette tape). First of all, it was about three dollars more expensive than the other popular albums of the time.

But it was more than that…Something about it didn’t feel right. I looked at the cover, and it didn’t move me.

I talked to a store employee who assured me “yeah, it’s great.”

It would have been so AWESOME if I’d been able to sample a couple of the tunes and then I would have known….

…That I consider that album to be one of the most egregious and self-indulgent piles of crap that the music industry has ever produced.

I’m sure many U2 fans will think I’ve lost my mind, but I’m serious. I HATE THAT ALBUM and I’ve resented that I lost my money on that thing ever since.

I’m not sure how, dear, dear Jon, you can arrive at the conclusion that iTunes killed the music business.

Perhaps it just killed YOUR business because people have the chance listen to your drivel and realize is sucks long before dropping a single dime on an album.

I mean, who could forget such classics as:

“Shot through the heart/and you’re to blame/darlin’ you give love a bad name.”

Pure musical poetry there, bubba.

Now just go away, grandpa.




Story source.


Monkey Mind Needs To Dance

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Having a hard time concentrating today. Lots of reasons, but it seems that writing coherent sentences is impossible.

So you know what that means. Imagination Prompt madness!

 You need other people because…

I can’t be expected to make my own perfect Manhattan straight up with a maraschino cherry all by myself, now can I?

Could you stay in bed all day and think?

%^$@damn right I can! Oh, wait, you said think, not drink.

I could stay in bed all day and think, too. It’s just less of a party.

Describe a typical day in elementary school.

Crayons, recess, paste, lunch, recess, paste, crayons, and something with numbers on a mimeographed worksheet.

What keeps me going?

force x mass

What if you were never born?

You wouldn’t be reading this completely awesome blog. You’d be reading a different and less awesome blog and wonder what was missing in your life.

Why should I be honest?

Because my short term memory sucks and I can never remember which yarn I spun where. The truth is just easier to remember.

List five things you need.

A nap.

A cookie from the conference room down the hall.

The group admin to look the other way so I can steal a chocolate chip cookie from the conference room down the hall.

Tweezers (you don’t want to know why)

Another nap.

My heart sings when…

I eat a huge plate of green chile chicken enchiladas. Later, my esophagus sings too, but it’s an entirely different song.

Write a haiku about today.

Here I sit writing
One day before vacation
No more today, boss




An Ode To The Shortest Month

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Yesterday, in the midst of the weirdness and woe, there was also something magical to note.

After severe rainstorms and plenty of freezing weather, Monday was this clear, sunny, warm, beautiful day.

It was, I think, a hint of what’s to come: February.

Yes, I said February.

The second month of the year. The shortest month of the year. February is a beautiful month.

In February, winter is not quite over, but spring is not quite here. In February we start to see the brilliant yellow of blooming daffodils against the monochrome hue of stormy skies. Daffodils are the harbinger of warm sunny days to come. They gives the cold body hope.

I believe the daffodils and tulips and the snowfall of Cherry Blossoms in February are meant to keep us going like the carrot at the end of the stick. The “something wonderful just around the bend” that help the human soul stay willing to endure the cold and damp days that are yet to be endured.

In February, Punxsutawney Phil pokes his burrowing animal’s head out of the ground and lets us know the score. The planning can begin.

The ground begins to thaw. Birds start to think about coming back this way. There is hope.

Heck, February is also the birth month of at least three of my favorite people (wait, four! Just thought of another).

I appreciate we’re still a good two weeks away from February, but I’m looking toward the second month of the year with a secret anticipation.

In other words…I’m flat tired of winter.

But it’s more poetic to speak of daffodils and warm days.






**Footnote: I purposefully ignored the “holiday” in February. I’m grateful to celebrate every day with my beloved, I don’t need a certain day set aside.


Photo by Andrea Kratzenberg and used royalty free from stock.xchng.