What the #$%@ is THIS?!?!?!

We got a kickback package of goodies from a supplier today. All kinds of crunchy snack treats. We, as an organization, descended on the munchful food. Oh yes we did.

I, myself, came out of the fray with a nice bag of Cracker Jack.

Ah Cracker Jack, food of my youth. Yes!

After the : smack, slurp, crunch, devour : was done, I excitedly grabbed the prize from the bottom of the bag.

Oh man, this is going to be GOOD!

There it is! Red striped fun! Whee!

Ok, tear this bad boy open. Unfold the directions.

What the?

I know you can’t read the text in this crappy iPhone photo.

It says: “Can you guess who I grew up to be?” then a lot of blah blah text about growing up a Quaker and self-discipline and blah blah BLAH!

Ok, now we get to the good part. The directions “fold over along perforated lines to reveal image on the other side…”

Heeeere we go! Yes, this will be something funny, right? A goofy face! Oh man, I’m gonna laugh. Then I’m gonna show this to all my coworkers. We’ll laugh for like HOURS man! Ok…folding…

What the?

Why is Ben Franklin staring back at me? This can’t be right. Let me look at the directions again.

“In her 50 years as a reformer, Susan B. Anthony championed many causes blah blah BLAH…”


What is fun about Susan B. Anthony! This isn’t even a crazy face. It’s actually kind of creepy!

I. Got. Robbed.

No temporary tattoo?!? No fun game?!?!

Nobody is laughing. Prizes SUCK now!!!!

Frackin’ Cracker Jacks! : waves fists :

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  • Anonymous

    Thats properly touchy-feely, politically correct, gender acknowledging entertainment, that there is, Missy! And educationally edifying!

    Approved by legal, endorsed by management, and the product of several expensive focus groups. It has been determined beyond a doubt to be culturally significant to several groups older than anyone who eats Cracker Jacks (dentures, y’know).

    And the fact that it is no damned fun is just sorta entirely beside the point; now isn’t it?

    ; ) Emmett

  • Karen Fayeth

    I don’t want politically correct! I want plastic outgassing toy goodness! I want inappropriate humor! I want something my coworkers will *envy*!

    I do NOT want Susan B. Anthony!

  • Lucky

    That is freakin’ hilarious.

    No wonder my students mob me when I give out temporary tats as a prize.

  • Anonymous

    >>I do NOT want Susan B. Anthony!

    Yeah, poor little kids going to school in the minivan with the bike helmet on, purged of pointy, small, smelly, toxic objects.

    Sucks to be a kid now.


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