Waiter? I’d Like To Order….

The topic of Theme Thursday this week couldn’t be more timely. In the lead up to the best eating holiday of the year, our topic, is: Food.

But here’s my sideways twist on the theme.

Over the weekend, while on a fairly long drive, I began to riff on something The Good Man said, devolving, as I’m prone, to low brow humor. The stuff of twelve year old boys.

The Good Man isn’t so much a fan of the twelve year old boy humor, so his side of the car went pretty quiet.

Well. Fine. I am who I am. If I can’t let my inner twelve year old boy fly free at home, I’ll take the next best option…imposing it on you, my fair readers.

So, herewith, my list of food names that are unintentionally rude, just in time for Thanksgiving.

1) Head cheese. You knew I had to start there, right? I’m not going to lie, I laughed right out loud typing the words. I wouldn’t laugh out loud eating it though, because congealed gelatinous meat bits doesn’t really appeal to my palate. But whatever.

2) Cacahuete. Hee, hee, giggle *snort*. You said caca! Yeah, cacahuete is the Spanish word for peanut. But still, it’s sooooo fun to say!

3) Bubble and squeak. It’s just fried up meat, taters and cabbage and when done right is very tasty. That said, eating cabbage *does* cause certain parts of my anatomy to both bubble AND squeak. In addition, I rather like saying the name. Repeatedly. Like a toddler. Bubble and squeak! Bubble and squeak! Bubble and squeak! (making a squeaky noise as you say the word squeak is mandatory)

4) Rump roast. Yeah. Unh huh. And I’m supposed to ask for that at the butcher shop and not laugh? I’ve always been curious about what names were rejected in that marketing meeting. Ass brisket? Booty beef? ‘Tocks steak? I mean, what exactly do you call a cut of beef that is sourced from, well, here. (link is TOTALLY safe for work)

And finally…

5) Spotted Dick. I think the gold standard for rude food names has to go to this British fare. It’s a spongy concoction of dried fruit that is usually served in pudding. There is a version manufactured by Heinz available at my local grocery store. I always chortle inappropriately when I see it there on the shelves.

I mean, come on, Spotted Dick? Who thought that was a good idea?

You got any others I forgot? Leave ’em in the comments!

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  • Anji

    I hope that you have custard on your spotted dick.

    We say cacahouète in French too but I didn't see tha caca before. I'll be trying to keep a straight face next time I have some – if I choke I'll leave instructions to sue you!

    There is a yucky runny cheese that I really used to like, the children were scandalised when I announced it was called Fellatio. I still smirk when I see it for sale, it's called something very close.

  • Karen Fayeth

    Anji – *giggle, snort* Um, fellatio cheese?

    *giggle, snort*

    Ok, that's funny.

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