Category: Music

Do not mess with a Blues Queen

Especially a cranky Blues Queen.

I think most Americans either tuned in or saw coverage of Inauguration Day, right? There was that tender moment in the evening where the President and First Lady took to the floor to dance the first dance. (if you were under a rock January 20th, click here for video).

The song the first couple swayed to was “At Last”, performed by, much to my dismay, Beyonce.

Now, I like Beyonce enough for who she is. The lady who brought the phrase “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” into the world. Oh yeah, and popularized the word “bootylicious”. Sure, she’s a bard for our times. Or something. She wearies me, but I have a few of her tunes on my iPod. I can’t hate on a lady who writes so much of her own music.

On that special day, however, I personally winced when the camera panned to B and she began warbling the Etta James classic.

I haven’t voiced this much because everyone I seem to talk with was like “OH! That Beyonce was SO wonderful!”

No she wasn’t. It was a special moment, but it was made special not by the singer (no way) but mainly by the sentiments of a kick ass song written by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren.

Given the exhaustion of our country with the previous administration, the notion of “at last” really resonated. It was the perfect song performed by the wrong singer.

I wondered why, on that day, it wasn’t Miss Etta up there. She’s still got the pipes and she’s still out there performing.

In fact, on January 28th, she was performing in Seattle at the Paramount Theater.

Where she said: “But I tell you that woman he had singing for him, singing my song — she’s going to get her a– whipped.”

Oooh, it’s ON now! And I believe the 71 year old lady could do it too, with one bejeweled hand tied behind her tiny back.

She went on to say: “She has no business up there, singing up there on a big ol’ president day, gonna be singing my song that I’ve been singing forever.”

Not sure what set Miss Etta off since Beyonce has been slinging her crappy rendition of “At Last” all over the place, including at least once in the presence of Miss Etta.

I think what galled *me* the most about Beyonce getting up there, was that it was a publicity stunt! Seems Beyonce is working on a movie called “Cadillac Records” in which she portrays Etta James. What a great marketing chance on the national stage.

Opportunism. Great. Makes me like Beyonce even less.

: rolling of eyes :

Personally, though, I think Miss Etta is just ticked that Aretha Franklin got a shot on inauguration day and she didn’t. Just my two cents.

Speaking of Aretha, remember when Beyonce got into hot water with her too?

Doh!

__________________

By the by, Miss Etta who has notoriously struggled with her weight is looking HOT right now thanks to gastric bypass surgery a couple years ago!

Go Etta!! Look at her tiny self!

Source and Source.

The yawning generation gap

I remember as a kid, and especially a teenager, being really, really into music. I still am, but it was something most vital to me back then. An escape, a place to speak emotions and thoughts I didn’t have the words or maturity to say. It spoke to my soul.

And I remember my grandmother or mother or some adult making a comment about the music that mattered to me, and thinking, “they just don’t get it.”

I recall swearing to myself, SWEARING that I wouldn’t let there be that generation gap as I got older.

And I’ve fought it. Hard. I listen to current music. I do my best to stay up to date, so I’m at least conversant.

Yesterday, I was listening to my iPod on the way home from work, and the shuffle landed on a Rihanna song.

I like Rihanna. I like her a lot, actually. I think she’s not only stunningly beautiful, but she’s talented.

The song that came on is entitled “Unfaithful.”

In the song, the story goes that the woman is with a guy, and that it’s more than love, he is “The reason that the sky is blue.”

But gosh darn it all, she just can’t seem to stay true to him.

She cries out, “And I know that he knows I’m unfaithful/And it kills him inside/To know that I am happy with some other guy/I can see him dying.”

She then wraps up the chorus with, “I don’t wanna be…/A murderer.”

Ok, ok, this is all very emotional. Her cheating is “killing” him. He’s “dying inside” and she is the “murderer” for doing this to him.

And this is when the yawning chasm that is the generational gap became oh so apparent and the years of my experience in this thing called life kicked in.

I found myself, listening closely to the words, and then *yelling* at my stereo:

“THEN LEAVE HIM! IF THERE IS NO WAY YOU WON’T CHEAT AND IT PAINS YOU TO SEE HIM ‘DYING INSIDE’ THEN BE A GROWN UP AND WALK AWAY!!!”

Ahem.

Yeah.

Sure, I know that, “He’s a nice guy but I just can’t be true to him and so I did the mature thing and broke up with him so I could go sow my wild oats, knocking boots with everything that walks so that one day I can be a sad, bitter old hag wondering whatever happened to my life and why I never found a nice guy,” doesn’t really make for fun, emo deep pop songs.

And I’m fairly certain that the young twentysomethings that work for me would roll their eyes and think, “she just doesn’t get it.”

I think I just grew a new gray hair.

“Hey you kids, get off my lawn!!!”

Things like this shouldn’t be allowed to happen

I’ve been listening to the Holly station on my Sirius radio pretty steady for the past few days.

It plays a nice mix of old standards and contemporary holiday songs. Not all the songs jingle my bells, the Ann Murray and the Manheim Steamroller could get toned down a little, but so far so good.

Until this morning.

As I dressed for work, I heard the sounds of a woman caterwauling the John Lennon protest song “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)“.

I glanced at my receiver to see just who was perpetuating this abomination, and gasped when I read the readout.

Celine Dion

How could this happen? Where are the controls to manage such things? It is not ok for the soulless and vapid Celine Dion to put her trilling note-running shriek on a song that is both moving and meaningful. And written by a talented artist and not some sham with a daddy-husband’s money to make her famous.

I was beside myself, truly.

Look, all you Celines and Josh Grobin’s and John Tesh’s and Yanni’s (and dare I say, Nelson Martinez’s) need to just stay back behind the very explicit WonderBread white line in the sand. You just commit your egregious crimes against musical taste and soul and leave the heavy lifting to those who are much more qualified.

Meanwhile, I had to cleanse my aural cavities with some holiday sounds from James Brown followed by John Lee Hooker.

It was the only way to get right after what I experienced.

There oughta be a law for such crimes against humanity.

(Aye God, can this woman not be stopped? Evidently her cover of AC/CD’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” was voted worst cover song in a magazine survey.)

It’s not okay.

You know, over the years I’ve heard many a grownup yell and throw things at the television when a commercial came on using a song that meant something to them “back in the day”.

Let’s be clear, advertisers are sluts. They’ll use any jingle, tune or icon imagery if they think it will sell.

Oh, yes, the howls over The Beatles “Revolution” being used to sell Nikes.

The Rolling Stones “Start me up” for Microsoft and “Satisfaction” for Snickers.

Carly Simon’s “Anticipation” used to sell ketchup.

And Bob Seger’s “Like a Rock” used for Chevy Trucks. To name but a few.

Yup.

I always agreed and smiled mirthfully while my older friends lamented the demise of their meaningful music.

Until just a few days ago. Yes, a few days ago, I saw this commercial.

And suddenly I was yelling and throwing things at the television.

They have abducted The Fixx!

“Saved by Zero”, an iconic song (at least to ME), is now used to shill freaking Toyota cars and trucks at “amazing zero percent financing”.

It’s wrong.

I had to cleanse my senses by watching the original, sort of nonsensical video.

(YouTube says this one can’t be embedded, so here’s the link.)

Ok, I get it. I’m in that “key” 35-50 demographic where they *hope* we have jobs, responsibilities, and the wherewithal to finance a new Toyota automobile.

But come ON!

It is, for me, a loooooong leap from my New Wave cool “we’re not going to be like you” days in high school to tooling around town in a sensible Prius.

And. They. Won’t. Stop. Playing. That. Ad.

Especially during post-season baseball.

Ugh!

I have to wonder, in twenty years, which current modern pop songs will be used to shill products?

The one about the stripper? (Ray J’s “Sexy Can I”)?

The one about the stripper (Flo Rida’s “Low”)?

Or the one about the stripper (T-Pain’s “I’m in love with a stripper”)?

Ah well, I can rest easy knowing that in 2028, these young whippersnappers will be hollering and throwing things at the television.

“Hey you kids, get off my lawn!”

Sigh

Another one bites the dust.

After nearly 40 years, Rolling Stone magazine is whittling down its trademark size. It will now look like every other magazine on the stands.

Ugh.

When I was 15, I had a subscription to Rolling Stone (thanks to the kindness of my mom, thanks mom!). I read it cover to cover every month, drinking in the journalism, the hot, hot interviews and the hip quality of it all.

I stopped subscribing when they went from newspaper print style to glossy pages. It wasn’t the paper, it was the quality of the product. Rotten.

So to be fair I haven’t read Rolling Stone in a good long while. But now, this nail in the coffin.

The magazine that was so subversive, so out there, so of-the-now is, at its heart, just another corporate owned mass-produced media product.

*sigh*

We’ve come a long way since RS 1:

Photo source.