I’m in the wrong profession

David Blaine. Why is this guy news?

And yet he is. His front-page feat was to hold his breath for a real long time. On the Oprah show.

Really?

Shoot, I could hold my breath ’til I’m blue in the face and ain’t no one paying me a freaking cent.

Oh, but “he’s an entertainer”. Yeah. I can really crack ’em up around the coffee maker at work, but that isn’t bringing me any income.

What do I do all day? I sit in a fish bowl of a veal pen cubicle and type little words on a little machine to appease bitchy clients and suppliers.

I need a change of venue. Or maybe I’m just hungry. It is almost lunchtime afterall.

I’ll check back after sustenance. Perhaps my mood will have improved.

Oooooohm

Once upon a time I took a meditation class. This came at the suggestion of one of my friends (and coworker) who suggested that I was wound a skosh too tight, and could benefit from some “time out”. To her credit, she at least had the decency to take the class with me. We sat on little carpet squares and tried to quiet our minds.

Ok, to be fair, it was a good and useful class, so I can hate on her too much.

Why am I telling you this? Well, as part of the class, the instructor told us to stop reading the newspaper and stop watching the television news.

At first I wasn’t sure I could do it. I’m an avid reader and I like to know what’s going on.

She reasoned that if there was something we needed to know, someone would tell us.

So I heeded that advice and over time found it was true. I was a lot calmer not knowing every little freaky thing that was going on that the media then blows up to epic proportions. There is a LOT of bad news in the world and the media thrives. “If it bleeds, it leads.”

I was content not to know the latest, and yes, folks always find a way to tell you what’s going on. It ended up being pretty good advice.

Lately I’ve been slipping back. I find myself reading the online versions of the local newspapers and scanning the Yahoo headlines frequently. And I can tell, I’m getting a bit bewildered by the world again.

I am a bit frazzled today as I have a LOT of meetings and to add to the fun, our organization is moving locations, so I have to be totally packed by end of today.

I needed a break from the insanity and I tuned in to SFGate.com to see what’s doing.

Here’s the headlines that greet me (actual cut and paste from this afternoon’s page):

Rape Suspect Phones Victim

Boy’s Skull Broken In Schoolyard

Apartment Fire Kills Boy

Europe Copes With Pump Prices

Pizza-Killing Charges Dropped

Woman clung to body to stay alive

This does not put me at ease! This does not help me be calm!

The only somewhat “good news” item is this:

Whale Wanders Into The Bay

Article says, “To the delight of onlookers, a cetacean spent the morning swimming between Fort Baker and the G.G. Bridge.”

I’m sure soon enough everyone will be freaked out that the little guy is lost and he’ll probably ground himself and we’ll get ongoing coverage of a dead and rotting whale.

Sure could use a little good news today…

Oooooooooohm!

Safe in Colorado, Open season in New Mexico

Got an interesting link from The Good Man this morning. “New Mexico fights to protect the lynx” from CNN.com and same story under “U.S. Sued Over Lynx Protection” from the ABQjournal.

My first read was in passing only. Sort of a *snort*, “figures”, : shrug : kind of response you get used to being from New Mexico and being left out.

In a nutshell, a conservation and animal rights group is suing the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service “to force it to extend Endangered Species Act protection to the Canada lynx in New Mexico.”

Big deal, right?

“The federal government lists the elusive, furry cats as threatened in 14 states— but not in New Mexico.”

Oh? Ok. Well, fair enough. And then further…

“The Colorado Division of Wildlife, which has released more than 200 lynx in Colorado since 1999, tracked about 60 of the animals into New Mexico’s Taos, Rio Arriba and San Juan counties…”

60 divided by 200 equals THIRTY PERCENT of the released animals aren’t protected.

Ah. So none of those wildlife “experts” at Fish and Wildlife thought that the “elusive, furry cat” would, you know, roam?

Have they MET the western region of the country? You know, wide open spaces, mountains, nice weather, lots of small furry things that a big furry thing might like to eat?

Has the Mexican Gray Wolf taught us NOTHING about how animals will roam when looking for viable food sources?

So what’s kind of head shaking about the story is that if the “elusive, furry cat” is in Colorado, it is totally protected under the Endangered Species Act. Once it crosses over into New Mexico? Open season.

No one tell Neal Trujillo that, ok? Cimarron isn’t all that far from the Colorado border…

Photo source.

Is Big Brother Watching?

To my Albuquerque friends, welcome to the fray.

According to today’s ABQjournal, ya’ll are getting Google’s “street view” maps.

They photographed the streets here in the Bay Area a bit back. It’s both cool and creepy. Cool in that when I’m going to a restaurant I’ve not been to before, I can take a look, see what it looks like and spot it more easily from my car. Creepy in that I looked up my home address and by God, there it is. On a nice clear sunny day.

It was a quiet day in my neighborhood. I’m not there, at least not outside. Not like the scores of people who are up in arms over how they’ve been caught on Google’s camera, like this couple who have even filed a lawsuit.

It’s something of a game online, web forums dedicated to finding nekkid people on Google street view. And yes, by the way, there are quite a few. Some worth seeing…others, notsomuch.

Street View really is a fascinating thing. I mean, it can put you “right there”, which is cool. When they are done with Albuquerque, I fully intend to look up lots of favorite places in a homesick kind of way. I may gaze longingly at the Garduño’s location on Academy for hours…(it’s not there yet despite the article saying much of Albuquerque is already done)

I just looked up the house I grew up in. It’s there. And the residents have totally redone the house. Almost didn’t recognize it. Whoa! (bastards took out my mom’s rose bushes!)

Ok, it is also pretty creepy. Especially when you see people caught unawares as the van rolls by.

On Sunday, The Good Man and I were waiting for a table at our new fave breakfast place. While leaning against our car, I heard a van rattle by and pause. It caused me to turn around. Turns out Microsoft might be launching a similar service. At least that’s what the van said on the side. So there I’ll be, face hungry and agog on yet another street view service. Just. Great.

Creepy.

At least I had my clothes on.

For fun: top 15 street view sightings. No nudity on this one, just FYI.

Still Developing…

In the aftermath of the kerfuffle over the questionable Absolut vodka ad, discussed here and here, comes news of the latest development.

Skyy Vodka, not one to miss out on a good opportunity released a little press release today.

Here’s the title:

“SKYY® Vodka, Made in the USA, Proudly Supports Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo”

Oh dear…

Funniest line from the press release:

“Don’t get me started on the Gadsden Purchase…I think the folks in Tucson and Yuma would be rubbed the wrong way if they hear this landmark deal was somehow nullified as suggested by Absolut, a Swedish-owned brand.”