grumptacular – Page 11 – Oh Fair New Mexico

Checking in on my coolness quotient

Posted on April 19, 2010
by Karen Fayeth
2 Comments

Ok. It’s time for my annual check in. I’m fast approaching a birthday, and now that I’m over 40, it’s a good time to check to see just how wide that ol’ generational gap has become.

We’ll start with trending topics on Twitter. I’ve eliminated all the hashtag items that are Twitter specific funning around like #DontBeShocked and #Musicmonday.

So here’s what we have as of 10:50 Pacific Standard Time.

Hekla
This Is Apple’s Next
#ashtag
Icelandic

Ok, well. Hekla. I pretty much figured it was a new R&B artist. I was wrong. It’s a volcano that may or may not be ready to blow its lid. Bad me.

“This is Apple’s Next” is a topic I’m all over. I read the Gawker item this morning about a supposed “found” iPhone 4. We’ll see. Apple always seems to have crafty moves…

But ok, score one for me, I’m on the board.

And #ashtag and Icelandinc are all about that fun, wacky volcano called Eyjafjallajokull.

Good, good. Three of four on that. Rock on.

Let’s try Yahoo! trending topics. Here we go, as of 10:55 PST.

Boston Marathon
Conan O’Brien
Christina Hendricks
Kelsey Grammer
Timothy McVeigh
Alyssa Milano
Lady Antebellum
Joakim Noah
Space Shuttle Discovery
Eyjafjallajokull

Ok, let’s run through the list. Let’s see….Boston Marathon. I know what that is, didn’t know it was being run today. Half point for me.

Conan O’Brien. Yup, know who he is. Heard he was getting a new cable show. There are a couple news items about he and George Lopez that I’m out of the loop on. Half point for me.

Christina Hendricks. I have no idea who that is. Hoookay, she’s evidently been chosen America’s best looking woman. She stars on “Mad Men” a show I haven’t watched as I don’t have cable. Big fat fail for me.

Kelsey Grammer. I used to watch Frasier and Cheers, so I’m up on Kelsey. I also know he’s super conservative. Ok. Evidently he’s starting his own right-wing network. Fair enough. Half point for me.

Timothy McVeigh. I know who he is. I wish I didn’t. Evidently there is some new project using his recorded voice. I probably don’t wish to hear it. I’ll take a zero points on this one.

Alyssa Milano. I know who she is. She is a $%#@ing Dodger fan. I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass about her. That said, I did read an article about her this morning and her new show “Romantically Challenged” (I didn’t say I was proud of it). Go me. Score one for the good guys.

Lady Antebellum. Know ’em. Love ’em. Love that they won a whole slew of Academy of Country Music awards last night. Whoo! Score one for me!

Joakim Noah. Er, uh. No idea. Ya got me here. Ah, basketball player. Chicago Bulls. Apparently people are pissed off at him. I don’t know why. I don’t watch basketball, sorry. Zero points for me.

Space Shuttle Discovery. Heard of it. Knew it was up. Didn’t know it was trying to land today. Bad weather causes delays. What’s new for the shuttle? Half point for me.

And finally, there’s my ol’ friend Eyjafjallajokull. Point goes to me!

Ok, let me add up the points…do the math here…carry the one…

Seems that I’m hip to 8 of 14 trending topics. That’s a resounding 57%.

Better than half, but not by much.

I’m not completely irrelevant, but I’m definitely trending down.

This year I will try to throw a rope over this generational chasm and hold on tight.

Image via the New York Times.

Edit: in the half hour or so it took to write this, the trending topics changed. Ah well, so goes the internets.

Saturday is rantacular!

Posted on April 16, 2010June 4, 2013
by Karen Fayeth
2 Comments

An open letter to the Bay Area’s NBC-11 (KNTV) television station

Dear programming directors at my local television station, NBC-11:

I’d like to begin our conversation by thanking you for televising Friday night’s San Francisco Giants baseball game on your regular ol’ not-cable television station.

For people like me who have gone back to days of yore by using rabbit ears to tune in my television, it’s fun to actually get a chance to watch my home team instead of only being able to listen on the radio.

The Good Man and I celebrated by eating bratwurst for dinner to get in the mood.

Very cool.

That said…

I’d like to kindly remind you that your whole reason for being in Los Angeles Friday night was to video and broadcast the game on behalf of your home viewers.

You know, the residents of the Bay Area? The SAN FRANCISCO Bay Area?

See, here’s the funny thing, by and large, on Friday, your viewers in the San Francisco Bay Area were all actively watching your fine station in order to see the Giants play baseball.

You know, the SAN FRANCISCO Giants?

So when you spend large portions of the game focused solely on Matt Kemp, giddy about Matt Kemp, how wonderful is Matt Kemp, showing us Matt Kemp in the dugout, Matt Kemp in the on deck circle, Matt Kemp picking his nose, you might fail to understand why I might be rather upset?

Why would I be this upset? Because %$!&ing Matt Kemp is a sonova$%#@ing player for the Dodgers!

How do I know this? Well, you see, I was able to take a gander at the front of his jersey. You might try this trick. Focus your freaking camera on him in every idle second, and you might get a close up look at the letters on his chest. Can you see it? Can you see it says D…O…D…G….

….ARE YOU EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!?!?!?!?!?

You are broadcasting a Giants game to Giants fans! Screw the Dodgers fans in the Bay Area! Who cares about them? They are not your core demographic!

I do not want to see Manny Ramirez unless he’s batting. I do not want to see Casey Blake unless he’s fielding a ball. I do not give one miniscule rat’s ASS about Matt Kemp unless he is batting or actively making a play.

And I give even less than a miniscule rat’s ass about all of the repeated views of Matt’s Kemp’s adorable little girlfriend Rhianna sitting in the stands.

Yes, we’re all very excited that Matt Kemp is dating Rhianna. Yes, she’s very cute. Yes, I know all you big sport broadcasting boys are squeeing with glee about the chance to film Rhianna sitting there with a hoodie over her head looking all cool. I know she’s like, oh my god, whoa, isn’t that the coolest thing ever, double squee!

But for f*ck’s sakes! Let’s just let the LA station broadcast the gratuitous lingering camera shots of their own players and their own players girlfriends.

Hey, here’s a cost saving idea! Why don’t *you* just use LA’s KCAL television feed for the next Giants-Dodgers game? That way I can, at the very least, listen to the dulcet tones of Vin Scully call the game.

At least that would be something interesting!

Now.

That said.

Saturday’s game is nationally televised on Fox. You know that that means? That means Joe Buck.

I guran-frapping-tee you that your crappy Friday night television coverage will hold up well by comparison to Joe freakin’ Buck’s uninspired and wooden-like call. I plan on feeling nauseated. Buck’s voice usually inspires that in me..

Because, NBC-11, you suck, but Joe Buck sucks worse.

And that’s something to build on.

Baseballically yours,

Karen

P.S. These are my pants. They are cranky. That is all.