Category: cha-cha-changes

Check the signs

The government cares. No really, they do. And so with their help, I’ve taken a good look at myself today. I mean, a real good look.

How are YOU feeling? Maybe you could check in too?

Herewith:

Getting Through Tough Economic Times from the Department of Health and Human Services.

“It is important to be aware of signs that financial problems may be adversely affecting your emotional or mental well being –or that of someone you care about.”

In other words….Did Mr. Jones take all your cash? Does that tick you off?

Let’s check in, shall we?

Warning Signs

Persistent Sadness/Crying

Only when I look at my bank account.

Excessive Anxiety

Only when I look at my bank account.

Lack of Sleep/Constant Fatigue

Yes. But I can’t really blame the economy for the fact that we are having cold windy nights, and since my personal internal thermometer tends to run hot, the cat and The Good Man sleep on top of me to stay warm.

Excessive Irritability/Anger

Only at 3:00 in the morning when I’m burning up hot and can’t get fourteen pounds of cat or six feet two inches of husband off of me.

Increased drinking

Yeah, a little. The Good Man, his friend and me did have two bottles of wine on Sunday (at a bar-b-que). Did you know that Lambrusco is really tasty and drinks awfully easily? Did you know that with enough fizzy red wine in your gullet, you kinda feel a lot better about a whole lot of things in your life? Well, that and the red meat. And the smoked fish from Alaska. Damn…that was a fine dinner…..

Illicit drug use, including misuse of medications

Does Claritin count? Because with this wind, my eyes and nose are like faucets. I may be abusing the stuff…not sure.

Difficulty paying attention or staying focused

What’s that over there? I think I’m hungry. What’s the square root of 686?

Apathy – not caring about things that are usually important to you

Whatever.

Not being able to function as well at work, school or home

Let’s see…after a marathon two days of writing a presentation in which I basically justified my job to our new austere European owners, today I’m at work with nothing to do and writing on my blog.

Not sure I could be less value added if I tried. Or should that be value subtracted? Not sure how the absolute values work in relation to lazyosity.

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Hmm. Ok. So I’m not sure I can draw any conclusions from that exercise.

And I think they may have left a few off the list. My additions:

Do you check your online money accounts more than three times a day?

Do you find yourself in the lunchroom with your coworkers discussing tax rates?

Do you cut coupons where you rarely did before?

Do you and your spouse look for “free” events, samples, activities and services?

Do you calculate how much gas it would take to get to a destination as a “go/no go” decision on running an errand?

Do you watch too much CNBC and then find yourself yelling at Jim Cramer and blaming him for a lot of things that aren’t actually his fault? (this one applies to Jon Stewart only)

Do you have fantasies about how good it used to be…in 2006?

If so…seek help.

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Ok, ok, I kid, I kid, but the online resource is actually pretty serious.

Link thanks to Bruce Daniels over at the ABQjournal.

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“I’m certain I have no idea what you are blathering on about, human. Now feed me.

We’ve got sprit, yes we do!

So things have been a bit maudlin at the ol’ work place these days. Our fabulous little company is being bought and merged into a much larger company.

Change. Whatta kick.

For me, being the new kid, this is all very much “ok…what next?” I took these changes into account when I took the job, expected it, haven’t gotten too settled into the “old ways” and can only just ride along the tide.

For people who have worked here for a while, it’s a different sentiment. They’ve seen this company grow and change and expand and there is much worry about what the new owners mean.

So it’s been tough. I’m a naturally exuberant sort, so all this new change is very exciting to me.

Today, they wanted to have a day whereby everyone wears something with the company logo on it, thus to drum up morale, I think. They give away enough schwag here, this shouldn’t be a tough request.

So I complied. Put on my company logo shirt and came to work to find most of my poopy coworkers didn’t comply. They’d rather be weiners than step up and have some fun. (and I told them all as much!)

Sometimes it’s hard to be me….

This me = exuberant and they = notsomuch is one of the pitfalls of my new job. My “energy” is often commented upon, both plus and minus.

But today I found “my people”…I had a meeting in another building, so climbed onboard the shuttlebus and wound up meeting three folks from field sales. These people are out in the trenches selling our product and making this company some money.

And they have SPIRIT! Man, just a twenty minute bus ride with them and I am ALL fired up about how cool my company is and what we’re about. They complimented me on my logo shirt, asked where they could get one, said they were so happy to talk with someone at the home office and just generally made me feel like I belong, despite having only been at the company a few months.

That was pretty cool. I don’t think I have the natural exuberance of a sales person, but I feel a lot better about who I am in the context of my job today.

Unfortunately, I had to come back to poop-head central. Maybe if I keep workin’ on them, they’ll get spirit too?

Nah. I’m a one-gal spirit team and that’s ok! :)

Perspective is a beautiful thing.

So, really, this new job is blowing my mind. I knew that changing jobs after almost ten years at a rather quirky company would be difficult. Challenging. Would test my bounds.

It’s been all of that and more.

I’ve been here two months and I’m still struggling. They promised the learning curve here is at least six months, but me, being both impatient and a chronic overachiever, feel like I should be up and running fast. Contributing to the work. Being useful and value added.

So far I’ve been mostly a bump on a log that asks a LOT of questions and says, “Are you sure?” upon hearing the mind-blowing responses. Oh, yes, this is a very backwards organization.

Last week I sort of had a breaking point. I wasn’t feeling great physically and I had my second “called into the principal’s office” to be told “what you did wasn’t *wrong*, it just wasn’t The Company way.”

You know the drill, you are right but you are still wrong. Won the battle but lost the war. And other platitudes.

I went home demoralized, a new hole punched in my self-esteem. I cried on The Good Man’s shoulder. Considered packing it in. Wondered how I could have had a successful fifteen year career in my chosen field and still can’t get it right in this two-bit flea circus.

So the weekend came and went. I got some sleep. My immune system kicked in, and I started feeling better, physically at least.

I made my way to work Monday, and it wasn’t so bad. Tuesday came and went. That brings us to today, Wednesday.

Starting my day, I was reading the headlines and saw the latest report on the doings of our new President. The story was about Obama needling the Washingtonians for shutting down schools due to ice. Said that his Chicago daughters play outside in that kind of weather.

It was a fun, humanizing story. But it also made me think.

This guy’s got a new job, too.

And if he makes a misstep, it’s not only reported to the world, it impacts the world.

He doesn’t just get called into the boss lady’s office for a talking to, he’s got real issues.

So maybe, for as freaked out and demoralized I am about this new gig, it could, definitely be worse.

I mean my coworkers both in my own organization and across the board, including my predecessor, want me to succeed. Everyone is trying to help me get acclimated. I don’t have to take the slings and arrows of Congress, snotty media and opposing party’s interests. I don’t have to remember what I promised last year during the interview and then deliver.

No one is watching my first 100 days, other than my immediate manager.

I don’t live under the hot fire of the magnifying glass.

Then again, Obama’s also got a horde of advisors. Maybe I need more advisors.

Hmm…

It never gets old

This weekend, The Good Man and I met some friends up in Sausalito for fun and merriment.

Getting to Sausalito means traversing the beautiful Golden Gate Bridge.

I believe this year makes twelve years for me living here in the Bay Area and driving across that big orange bridge is still as exciting as it was the first time I ever did it.

I have about a zillion photos I’ve taken of the Golden Gate Bridge, because no matter how many times I see it, I always find something more interesting I need to try to capture.

Then sometimes, like yesterday, I decide to come out from behind the camera and just watch as we drive by. The art deco uprights are still so endlessly fascinating to me, the way the light plays off of them, the subtle texturing. The stout cables that hold it all in place still look like dental floss in perspective of all the iron and steel and concrete that make up the bridge.

I wondered, as we drove across, if the men who finished the bridge back in 1937 could ever fathom what it this bridge would become. Could they have ever imagined the magnitude of traffic that rolls over it every day?

And how freaking cool that something built 72 years ago still stands tall and proud and virtually unrevised (but for some retrofitting and upgrading) since then.

I got to thinking, was there anything from my life in New Mexico that could even come close to this? Something that in driving by with some frequency, I still have the sense of awe and wonder every time I see it?

The closest I got was not a man made item. First thought in my head was Tijeras Canyon. Similar in that it is a roadway to transport people from one side of a great geological obstacle to another.

It still fills me with awe at the beauty and wonder at the too fast development growing in that gap between the Sandias and the Manzanos.

I tried to think if there was something like this, something man made and yet so enduring. Of course, the Indian ruins are far older than the Golden Gate, but not something that one drives by with frequency, as they tend to be back in the hills.

I suppose the most awe inspiring bit of human engineering and transportation in New Mexico is the Sandia Peak Tramway.

I don’t know, to my New Mexico friends, do you have any ideas? I’m sure I’m forgetting something…

Photo by Karen Fayeth

Conflicted emotions

The times, they certainly are a’changing.

One place this is perfectly evident is in the world of newspapers and reporting.

A number of key dailies have either gone out of business or gone to internet only publication to cut printing costs. As these papers scale back, they must also downsize their staff.

Just last week, I was referring to something that Gene Grant had written about in his column (published in the Albuquerque Journal). I’d said that I had always liked Gene’s work, whether or not I always agreed with him.

I find him to be both eloquent and articulate. Something lacking in so many of today’s so-called journalists.

Just two days after I had been extolling Gene’s virtues, I read his last column for the ABQjournal.

Said Gene: “A small story in the historic and difficult choices newspaper owners and editors are facing. It’s tough out there.”

Gene and his opinion column have fallen victim to the world of the internet and the ever present blog-ready online world.

I love my blog and the forum to be able to openly express my opinions on a variety of topics, but I realize that the blogosphere has taken down talented journalists like Gene.

And I have conflicted feelings on that subject.

On the one hand, I lament the lack of real journalism with integrity and reporting “just the facts.” This is, I know, an antiquated notion. Opinion has made its way into the media, as each paper has its own axe to grind. My own local rag, the San Francisco Chronicle, is one of the worst.

So although I wish for strong, precise journalism, it just doesn’t exist anymore.

Then again, on the other hand, I think the rise of blogging is a good thing. No longer am I subjected to only the forced opinions of my local paper or other media outlets. I can seek out a variety of dissenting opinions, take them all in, and then make up my own mind. Knowledge is power.

I wonder if blogging wouldn’t be quite the force it is if our journalistic outlets gave us the unbiased news we desire? Or perhaps it would be popular, but in a different way.

So while I’m sad to see the demise of newspapers and the downsizing of talented writers like Gene Grant, I think it was inevitable.

The newspaper world is a stodgy old industry and it’s high time for that old dog to learn some new tricks.

Change or die is the motto these days. Newspapers aren’t immune.

Something tells me 2009 is going to be a wild ride.