And Then There Was The Time…

So after having a confession yesterday about my snake flinging incident, commenter Andy D mentioned that if I’d slung the snake directly onto instead of simply near my mom, that likely I’d remember the conclusion of that story a lot differently.

Which reminded me of yet another story that took place at that family vacation house near Ute Lake.

My dad was an avid hunter and we always had guns in the house. Since my dad didn’t want us to be either scared or a little too curious about the guns, he made sure we all knew how to shoot each and every one.

On the small bit of property we owned in Cuba, New Mexico, there was a tree that had been felled by lightening. It was a huge tree, and it made a really good location for target practice. Whenever we’d go camping, my dad would bring along guns and each kid (and mom too) all had to take a turn. Dad supervised while we learned to load and shoot the gun.

I was shooting my dad’s deer rifles from a young age. All this is by way of saying that I grew up fairly comfortable around guns.

So ok.

My brother had himself a BB gun when he was a teenager, and when he went off to college, that BB gun was left at the Lake House. For a while, around age 12 or so, I adopted that BB gun as my own. It had seen better days, but it worked fine and there was a big box of BBs available for my “ping!” pleasure.

I liked to shoot the gun mainly for the sound of the BBs pinging off the side of something like the old metal sided chicken coop.

Not the most ambitious of kids, was I.

On the property was a telephone pole. For reasons I still don’t fully understand, that telephone pole was covered in a very thick layer of tar. When the baking heat of a New Mexico summer day would get going, that tar would soften into a gooey mess.

So in my eleven year old mind, I had the brilliant idea that if I shot BBs at the tar covered pole, they’d stick. Wouldn’t that be so cool?

I filled the BB gun full to the brim and got to work out back shooting at that pole from a fair distance. I wanted to make it sporting. Now, hitting a decently narrow pole from a good distance is tougher than you may think. Or at least it was for me. What I lacked in aim, I made up for with single minded focus.

Well, so there I was, pumping BB’s in the general direction of the telephone pole, and my mom, wearing shorts and a sleeveless shirt, was working out in the back yard pulling weeds.

You can see where this is headed, right?

Sure enough, it was only a matter of time before I pulled the trigger, my aim was a bit off the mark and I…

Yes, I did.

I shot my mom in the arm.

She was, as the saying goes, mad as a wet hen. Quickly enough, a big red welt began rising on her right arm.

Let me just tell you this: I was no longer allowed the use of that BB gun. I was done. For good.

Flinging a snake? I got off easy. Shooting my mom? My oh my. I was in quite a bit of trouble which included a “talking to” from my dad.

That’s never good.

And so in the course of two blog posts, I’ve created quite the Mother’s Day meme.

(I did not, in fact, shoot my eye out. I shot my mom. Whoops.)

Photo is a still from the movie, “A Christmas Story.”

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  • Lucky

    Fun with weapons!

    I managed, in the course of 5 minutes on a summer afternoon, to shoot not one, but TWO windows out of the garage when I was about that age. Bow & arrow was my weapon of choice. I wasn’t bad at it, and after I missed the first one, I figured there was no way it could happen again. . .the parents weren’t pleased. One is an accident, two means your kid is a moron.

    • Karen Fayeth

      Lucky – “One is an accident, two means your kid is a moron.” lololololol!!!

      That is a motto many parent live by. Gonna have to tell my best friend that….

  • Elise

    It’s all fun and games until somebody wings a mom.

  • Natalie

    When I was a kid…
    We went to some swanky birthday party in the city (San Fransisco) for some kid my grandparents knew. I didn’t know anyone but it was kinda fun because the kid, a boy, got a BB gun for his birthday. Somehow, I talked him into letting me shoot the gun. They had a terraced backyard and big trees along the back fence. I was shooting up into the trees and I somehow hit a bird. (I say somehow because you couldn’t see the birds in the trees… only heard them.) It was a little blackbird and I had clipped it in the wing. It fell out of the tree and was hopping around trying to hide in the bushes. I. FELT. TERRIBLE. Then, I got the lectures about shooting things so… I. FELT. WORSE.
    Never wanted to shoot a gun again.
    I did, of course, as my grandfather wanted me to know how to handle guns. We used to go to the shooting range and I got pretty darned good at it. I’ve always thought that, if you have a gun, you invite violence into your life. So, I’ve never had one and don’t really want anything to do with them. But, man, was I fascinated with them when I was young. I was also fascinated with fire… All of this makes me fear for life with little boys/teenagers and the things they do when I don’t have my eye and thumb on them!!!!

    I didn’t shoot my mom, though. LOL Too funny!!

    • Karen Fayeth

      Natalie – Prior to winging my mom, I’d been busted by my dad for shooting at crows on the power line. I was just trying to get them to hop off the line.

      My dad told me we don’t shoot at an animal unless we intend to kill it. And if we intend to kill it then we intend to eat it. And if I wanted to have crow and only crow to eat for dinner (literally, not in that metaphorical sense) then I needed to knock that sh*t off.

      You know what? I was fascinated by fire when I was a kid too! I used to do experiments to see what would burn and how and what color was the flame. Did you know that nail polish remover poured all over the sink basin and lit on fire burns purple? It does! And thankfully I didn’t burn down the whole house…….(it’s a miracle)

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