Category: weirdity

It’s a short walk from me to thee

Often when I’m bored at work or killing time until my next meeting (too many of those today), I like to look at the “odd news” on Yahoo. I mean, I LOVE weird-ass stories. But inevitably, I find one story that makes me uncomfortable. One of those “wow, with a slightly different set of circumstances, that could be me.”

So this afternoon, exhausted from the day, I took a peek at the latest crop of weird news. And here it is, the story that “but for the grace of < fill in all seeing entity of your choice >, that could be me.”

From the Associated Press on Friday.

Basically, a guy got drunk and then angrily attacked the Halloween display at a woman’s house. Guy went flailing after inflatable ghosts and a pumpkin. The owner reported “she heard hollering and swearing and looked outside to see Odee struggling with the giant pumpkin.” When she yelled at him, he then smashed his head through a window.

The police were called and “after a brief struggle” he was arrested.

I dunno, it sounds wacky, but didja ever get so mad you wanted to punch one of those cutsey ghouls populated on someone’s front lawn? Or wanted to kick the fun animated light up reindeer that it seems everyone has each year? Or thought you’d feel better if you dropped your aged vehicle into four wheel drive and ran asunder over someone’s *fabulous* holiday display?

No?

Oh, it’s just me, then.

Go on about your business…..

When it’s time to put your electronic device down

Had a pretty good laugh today reading an AP story about cell phone users feeling “phantom vibrations”.

The Cute Boy™ and I have talked about this one before. My life, unfortunately, revolves around the wireless industry, and I’m constantly surrounded by < obscenity deleted >* cell phones.

If you have to be tethered to one of the damn things like I do, then you’ve probably had this phenomenon. Or….if you’ve ever had a hot date and you are waiting desperately for them to call, that’s also a fine time for you to lunge for your pocket only to realize it wasn’t your phone, it was you.

Lately I’m also getting phantom ringing. There are so many ding dang devices in the world, and they all beep, whine, tweet, chirp and whatever, that I think it must be my phone. I mean, the galdurn thing has a bunch of functions I don’t even know how to use. A few weeks back, The Cute Boy™ and I were in the car. A new chirp emitted from somewhere in the car. It was an unfamiliar sound. We looked at each other. “What was that?” I asked. “I don’t know,” he replied.

I mean….how bad is it when there are so many electronic sounds in the air that you can no longer accurately identify the source?

It makes it worse that here at work all employees now carry the same phone. Which means they make the same set of noises. It’s kind of funny in a crowded meeting when one phone chirps and twenty people lunge for it. Funny in a “holy crap is this what we’ve become” kind of not-so-funny way.

So, yes, I admit it, I’m a “phantom vibrate” person**…and a phantom ring too. Today I took off for a meeting across campus at work and (*gasp*), forgot my phone back in the office. And while in the meeting, someone’s phone rang. And even though I KNEW I didn’t have my phone, I still reached into my pocket…to find, my keys. Well there you have it, the downfall of civilization.

By the by…does anyone else have a microwave that nudges you when it’s done? I mean, I can pop a bowl of soup in there for a couple minutes, then be doing something else. I *hear* the end beep. Then every minute or so, it beeps again. I really, really hate that. My life…managed by a microwave…and an iPhone…and the beeps and bells in my car…and let’s not even start on the strange noises my computer makes.

Remember when a phone just rang, and made that “shuk-shuk-shuk” noise when you dialed?

*Self censored in the interest of keeping this blog to a reasonable length. The string of curse words that I use to describe cell phones is both lengthy and sufficiently blue enough to make a sailor blush.

**Heh..when I first wrote that sentence, I said “I’m a ‘phantom vibrator’…” That’s a WHOLE other blog, no?

Proud

Oh Fair New Mexico, how great thou art. Once again my home state is contributing to not only the economy of the world, but to our overall wellbeing.

Those hard working researchers at University of New Mexico have been selflessly spending hours upon grueling hours in strip clubs conducting an in depth and meaningful analysis. The purpose of all this hard work is to determine at which point in a woman’s monthly cycle does she earn the most money (in the form of tips).

That’s right, ladies! Turn on the charm when you are ovulating and you too can rake in the cash! But look out when Aunt Flo is about…you’ll not be making the dough. Oh, also, if you are on the pill, apparently you send out an “early pregnancy” vibe (cuz the pill tricks your body) and the boys won’t throw as much cash your way.

“Miller suggests scheduling more shifts for the phase right before ovulation: ‘It might help to know about this so that you can exploit these effects.'”

Now THIS is science!

(source and via)

Shusshing the demons

I have made it no secret here on these pages that there have been tumultuous times in my life recently. Work. Personal. Mental. Emotional. Physical. You name it, I’m tweaked out on it.

I’ve been sort of at a white knuckle, nail biting, not sleeping place lately which kicks off lots of crazy internal demons. Old stuff, way back machine stuff.

But I refuse to let the demons win, so I’m fighting the valiant fight to put da monstas back in da cage.

In the past, I’ve fought all of this alone. I’m sort of used to doing this myself. I’ve not had much in the way of supportive partners in my life, to be honest.

Until now. The Cute Boy™ is here. And he’s a good man.

Yesterday he told me he had a surprise. I was too tired, weak and demoralized to fight very hard. “Okay,” I said and went along for the ride.

The Cute Boy™ had a good surprise up his sleeve.

See, I’ve studied a lot of “woo woo” stuff in my life, from one extreme to the other with varying degrees of success. Several years ago I took a Learning Annex class on walking a labyrinth. It’s a form of walking meditation that I really liked.

When I can get my monkey mind to meditate, it usually helps. A lot. I’ve been talking at starting meditation again for a long while but not doing anything about it.

So The Cute Boy™, either tired of me flapping my lips at meditation and not really doing it, or because he’s worried about my freaked out ass, took me up to San Francisco yesterday to Grace Cathedral. They have not one but two labyrinths there, one inside and one outside.

Walking in I was unsure if I was in the right mental state to do this thing. Walking out two and a half hours later after three walks and much thoughts, I realized some good thinking had been done.

I slept better last night. My sister called this morning. She’s worried about me. She said, quite surprised, “wow, you sound MUCH better”.

Those crazy ancients might really have been on to something….

And it’s confirmed…The Cute Boy™ is a keeper.

(this is the Native American “man in the maze”, which is also a labrynth)

The times, they are a changin’

Just because it’s time, almost over due, doesn’t mean there isn’t some sense of disbelief that an era is over.

According to the ABQjournal, Senator Pete Domenici will announce his retirement later today. He has been Senator for 36 years, just a few years less than my lifetime. Growing up in New Mexico, Domenici’s name was always in the news. He went from a “who is that” to a fairly powerful guy on Capitol Hill. I was always happy for a New Mexico guy to make good, make a name, so people knew we had smart folks from New Mexico over there.

I know lately he’s fallen out of favor for a variety of misdeeds. I’m not much of a political person, honestly. I can’t talk articulately about Domenici’s career, the high points, the low points. I’ll leave more of that to my friends Avelino at his Live From Silver City blog and of course former Mayor of Albuquerque Jim Baca at his Only in New Mexico blog.

My lament today is how much things in my world seem to be changing. Today we have a lunch to see off one of my best and favorite employees. She’s moving on to a great job and we’re all really happy for her. It’s a big blow to our team. But change must happen.

There are a lot of huge changes going on in my personal life too, most changes for the better, but changes nonetheless.

My “woo woo” teachers would say that’s the hallmark of Fall. The days shorten up, the ground goes cold. Circle of life. Death and rebirth. All of that.

Give me time, I’ll be philosophical later. For today I’m just sad. Ok, not that I’m all broke up about Domenici leaving office, just the huge change it brings (just skeered as hell that Wilson might get that seat).

I remember my days working at Sandia where we called him “Saint Pete” because he was always able to finagle funds to keep Sandia rolling, despite all the protests to reduce funding to the nuclear labs. How far he’s fallen…

Anyhow, I guess it’s owing to my sign of Taurus that change is troublesome. I’ll follow my family tradition and worry myself sick about it. Then, I’ll rebound, get perspective, and be fine.

I’m always fine, eventually.

*sigh*

Well…off to the going away lunch…..