Category: truth is stranger than…

Oh Geez

The Feline has been named “Pet of the Month” by our vet.

Oh the fame. The demands. The rider clause to be added on to her appearance contract.

“One (1) big clear glass bowl of kibble. All the irregular shapes ones picked out. One (1) bottle Evian. Room temperature.”

She’ll go from merely a pain in the patooty to insufferable.

Diva Feline.

I’ll do a tell all with the tabloids about her addiction to batting at the venetian blinds and that time I found her in a “compromising position” in the laundry basket.

I’ll have to teach her how to get out of a limo correctly, tail down, so we don’t have a little “Britney incident” on our hands.

Upshot is maybe all the media pressure will encourage her to drop those extra lingering four pounds she fights.

Do I need to find a celebrity trainer to take her on?

Ugh.

Hope we get a reality show out of this.

Is that a threat, Mr. Henderson?

quote:

General Motors Corp. said Tuesday it needs $12 billion in government loans to keep operating, telling Congress in a bluntly worded report that its collapse could have “severe, long-term consequences to the U.S. economy.”

“There isn’t a Plan B,” said Chief Operating Officer Fritz Henderson.

———————–

Sounds like a ransom note to me.

And who is going to pay for this rippin’ $12 billion with a capital B? Oh yes, me and you, the taxpayers.

Remember us? The same folks that got robbed by Mr. Jones and the gang of banks? Yeah.

Pony up American minion, it’s all on you now. Food? Feh, you don’t need that. Americans are all too fat anyway.

See, I’m an MBA graduate, fifteen year business woman. I’ve seen a lot of companies do a lot of dumb things. But I have never seen the sheer audacity of these automakers.

You made crappy product that people don’t buy. You made long term contracts with unions thus incurring costs that you couldn’t support with sales of your crappy product.

That there’s what they call supply and demand, tater. Even a hick from New Mexico State’s business program can figure that one out.

I’m curious if GM will get what they ask for. And the other of the “big three” as well. Ugly days, indeed.

Source

Great Googelly Moogelly!

I paid two dollars and thirty-three cents a gallon for gas today!

I almost wept! Given that gas was touching five dolla’ a gallon not that long ago, this was AMAZING!

Ok, to be fair, there was a forty-five cent surcharge for using my debit card at the pump. But that’s ok. On twelve total gallons, that brings my price to two dolla’ and thirty-six cents a gallon!

Look!

Unbelievable.

I procured this petrol while out running errands. I have enjoyed going out to stores on quiet weekdays rather than busy weekends.

I’m actually not seeing a slow up in spending. I’m guessing the economy might be doing ok, people are still spending with reckless abandon.

I personally provided my own “stimulus package” to the economy by spending WAY too much money over the past couple days.

Retail therapy always cheers me up!

In other news….from the retail front lines…why are leg warmers back? I was at Target and they had a full rack of leg warmers. They also had also neon colored baby doll socks (perfect for wearing with your patent leather stiletto heels).

When exactly did my HIGH SCHOOL years return to fashion? Look, I wore the rhinestones and vintage clothes and armfulls of black rubber bracelets back in the day. Sure, I was into it.

But looking back on my own personal fashion…well. It is best left in the past.

But no, Target sees fit to return it to me.

Just. Ugh.

Alternate spelling, alternate universe

You may recall from a post a while back that I use my secret agent 007 stealth first name when I order coffee and they ask for a name to write on the cup.

My secret agent name is Lucy. I use that name because it’s:

1) easy to pronounce

2) easy to spell

3) heard clearly over the whooosh whooosh sounds of an espresso machine

I copied this from a friend (who has my same real first name), even borrowing her own made up nom de bebida, because of the ease of use.

Until this past week at the Honolulu airport.

They asked my name. I said Lucy. They nodded and wrote the name. I got my beverage and it wasn’t until I was on the plane that I noticed.

You can’t make this stuff up.

You can’t make this up

And you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.

So I’ll have to prove it in photographs.

I was shopping the book store at the Kona airport, looking for something to occupy me on the five and a half hour flight.

When my eyes fell upon this:

What is this, you say? Yes, someone actually took the time to translate the new testament into Hawaiian pidgin english.

Behold

Dats some supa spesho spirit right der!

Aloha!