Category: life

Biscuit Monster

So, now that we’ve gone and cancelled our cable, we live at the whims of what’s available on the public airwaves.

This means that I’ve been watching a lot more PBS lately. There’s some really fascinating stuff on there!

So I watched, with moist salivary glands, a show called “Everyday Baking.”

Host John Barricelli makes some naughty baked things on that show, and the recipes seem pretty easy.

I told The Good Man that I’d watched the show and was going to try my hand at making homemade biscuits.

That grown man, in a full Cookie Monster voice, said “biscuits?”

This morning, I printed out the recipe and placed it on the counter. I will make them later today to be ready for weekend breakfasts.

Every time The Good Man walked by the counter while getting ready for work and spotted the recipe, I heard “biscuits?!?”

He opened the fridge, “hon, why is there a bunch of cut up butter in here?”

“That’s for the biscuits, they said the butter needs to be cold and in small chunks.”

“Biscuits!?!?”

As he kissed me goodbye for the day, he bounced on the balls of his feet and uttered one last, “biscuits!?!?”

Oh man, with such Cookie Monster passion about these biscuits, now I’m sort of scared. What if they turn out like flour-y hockey pucks?

GAH THE PRESSURE!

Then again, I bought sausage to make sausage gravy. Just about anything tastes ok covered in sausage gravy.

While you were toiling away…

…answering emails, suffering the slings and arrows and the whims of management, teaching kids, making deals, working hard, feeling stressed, wondering what it is all about….

This seagull was eating a starfish.

Just thought you’d want to know.

(click image to enlarge, you’ll be glad you did. You’ll be able to see that he’s noshing with his eyes closed. Like this is a super tasty treat. You know how you close your eyes and mmmmm when something is especially tasty. Think of that when you look at this photo)




Image by Karen Fayeth

Management…hamburger style

Currently, at the building across the way, there are some gentlemen hard at work putting a new roof on the two-story structure.

Roofing has got to be some grueling, backbreaking work, and they’ve been toiling at this for a few days now.

About an hour ago, all work went quiet over there. I thought maybe they were on a break. They weren’t on a break.

It appears they were having a little conference. What they’d call in the corporate world, a “root cause analysis”.

I suspect they discovered what, or rather, whom was at the center of the mistake, because I could then hear the supervisor of this project having a one-on-one mentoring conversation, loudly, with his employee.

Let’s keep this a family friendly post…for all the instances of the eff word, I will substitute a more appropriate word.

Oh let’s have fun with it, let’s use the word “hamburger.”

Here we go, a faithful recounting of this clearly very hands on and empathetic manager as he guides his employee through a big error.

Remember: hamburger = eff word

“You hamburgered up. You hamburgered this whole thing up. I didn’t hamburger up. All the rest of these hamburgering guys didn’t hamburger this thing up. What in the hamburgering hell were you thinking? You weren’t thinking and you hamburgered this hamburgering thing all to hell. What the hamburger, man?! What the hamburger happened?”

: sound of employee mumbling, trying to explain his reason for hamburgering everything up :

“You what? You what? Who the hamburger told you to do that? I sure as hell didn’t hamburgering tell you to do that! Now this whole hamburgering project is running behind and that costs hamburgering money? Do you get that? Do get that you’ve cost every hamburgering one of us some hamburgering time and some hamburgering money?”

: more mumbling :

“Aw man, what the hamburger. Get back to work!”

And with that, all the machines started up again, the smell of tar once again filled the air, and the team of folks got back to roofing.

This, among the many reasons why I feel so fortunate to be able to work a white collar gig. I’m pretty hamburgering sure that if my boss ever talked to me that way, I’d have a pretty good hamburgering lawsuit I’d think about.

Every once in a while…

You know, my move to California, lo these many years ago, was really a life changing event for me.

Both a mind blower and a mind stretcher, to be sure.

I never really realized how small my world was until I expanded the reach.

In the first several years I lived here, I explored a lot, and I learned to perfect the face that was outwardly calm, while inside my mind was shouting “HOLY EVER LOVING CRAP, DID YOU **SEE** THAT!?!?!?”

I didn’t want people think I was a rube, so I learned to keep my shock and awe to myself, as much as possible. Though many times, my natural exuberance took over and it all burbled out.

I mean, in my time here in the big ol’ Bay Area, I’ve seen some pretty wild things.

Ok, by way of example in the first six months living here, I saw my first true campy transvestite. At well over 6’5″, she was dressed as Diana Ross. And spectacularly beautiful. And very sweet too, she was lovely to me.

I just didn’t really get to see stuff like that where I grew up.

Over the years, a fantastically beautiful transvestite has become but one of an ever growing list things that has blown my mind.

So, this weekend, I had another occasion to have my mind stretched a bit, again.

On Sunday, I went to an event at a local spiritual bookshop. It was a presentation to be given by a Tibetan Monk.

(Yes, yes, I know transvestite to Tibetan Monk is a wild, weird shift in just the course of the first 280 words of this post. Stick with me.)

Ok, yes, so ok. You went to see a Tibetan Monk, blah, blah, blah, how very new age of you. So what, right?

Well, here’s the thing. It was a very small event. And by a series of fortunate circumstances, I was given a seat in the front row.

For three hours I sat there less than five feet away from a genuine Tibetan Monk wearing red robes and speaking the Tibetan language.

I heard him speak of his personal experience of being imprisoned by the Chinese and brutally tortured for teaching Buddhism.

You can hear and read stories of torture. You can have a generalized knowledge that these things happen in the world.

But then when a real human being sits there before you and generously tells their story and shares their pain…well, ok, *pop* goes my brain pan.

I am not a practitioner of Buddhism, nor am I here to advocate any sort of political or religious agenda.

I’m actually more just talking from the mind of a little girl who grew up in New Mexico.

I was very touched and very moved by the talk given by this man. I also envied his inner peace and vowed to try to find but a molecule of that within myself.

I’ve faced some bumpy roads over the past year of my life. Been holding some anger for some people who have been less than kind to me.

When Phagyab Rinpoche said that compassion is the antidote to anger, I listened.

I don’t have answers, but I do believe that your life is changed by all the people you meet on the road we call life.

That red robed Tibetan monk got me thinking. And thinking is good. Thinking can lead to healing.

I could use some healing.

Spring forward? Yes, please! Fall back? Bah!

Have I ever mentioned that I *love* daylight savings time? Love it. Looooove it.

I can hardly wait each year for the time to change, for the days to grow longer, for it to be warm and sunny and I get to wear cute sandals and short dresses and the feeling of optimism pervades.

Every year, I dread with equal force when time changes back. It’s a concession to fall-turns-into-winter. The days grow shorter. I have to wear a freaking jacket. In the Bay Area it’s probably raining and pessimism, Seasonal Affective Disorder and endless gray skies pervade.

Last night, at ten minutes to six in the evening, it was pitch-black dark outside.

It won’t be long before it’s pitch-black dark outside by 5:30.

Ugh.

Everyone chirrups about how “we get that hour back!” and “it’s an extra hour of sleep!”

Yeah, even the promise of more sleep can’t warm me up to this time change.

At all.

I may be a human, but I’m basically just an animal. The Feline can’t tell time. She doesn’t really understand why the kibble isn’t dropping into the blue bowl at the same time it did two days ago. I mean, she *really* can’t understand.

She’s yowling at me as I write this. She’d like you to call Kitty Protective Services and report an abuse. Indignant is the adjective that best describes her demeanor.

And really, I can’t blame her! I’m hungry too! My internal clock is all off. Sleep isn’t happening right. Food is out of whack.

All of my external clocks are a mess too! Some of them fix themselves automatically. Some of them fix automatically, but we wired to make the change a couple weeks ago. Some I have to manually adjust.

What the $%#@ time is it anymore? I need a little precision, people!

Don’t even get me started on the people who will lecture that time is but an illusion, a made up method of marking events. Bah! That makes it worse. We made up this measurement device, and then we fiddle with it.

The Feline has it right, I think. She wakes up, she’s hungry. Bam. Done. Why we gotta make it harder than that?

While we’re on the topic, I’d like to ban alarm clocks. I think it’s unnatural to wake your body out of a perfectly nice sleep with a jangling device. I think we should all get to sleep until we’re done sleeping, and then get up and face the world.

It would be a much more civilized place if we did.