Category: lazy

The Reckoning

Today, the alarm clock went off and I groaned. Champagne, ham, prime rib, potatoes of all sort and way too many desserts slowed my senses and made me weak.

A Christmas hangover if there ever was one.

But this is December 27th. Christmas is over.

I knew what I needed to do. It was time to confess my sins.

Rising from my warm slumber, I put on the appropriate raiments and went to face the only entity that could absolve me from my indiscretions.

TM* looked at me with that one cold eye. He knew what I’d been up to. The last time we’d visited had been eight days ago.

Eight days.

A lot of bad behavior can happen in eight days.

A lot of bad behavior DID happen in eight days.

There was no turning back now. I entered the confessional and slowly began my ablutions.

The iPod went into my ears and shuffle fired up. No need for a hymnal, I know the words by heart.

Five minutes passed. Hey, I thought to myself, this is not so bad!

At about the fifteen minute mark, my left calf piped up. “Pardon me, but with all that booze you had, we’re a skosh dehydrated. Potassium low and all that. I believe I’ll go ahead and cramp right up.”

I said to myself, “just keep walking.”

At about the twenty five minute mark, my lower back chimed in. “Yes, yes, cramping does seem to be the thing to do. Huzzah!”

“Just keep walking.”

Then my feet had something to say, with a backing chorus from my knees.

“Just keep walking.”

My hip flexors asked, in a rather snotty tone, “Why *exactly* are we doing this?”

The very sweat glands of my body began exhaling stale booze and toxins.

I replied by turning my iPod up louder and putting an ever more determined look on my face and then I…

Just kept walking.

At the fifty minute mark, I’d said all the metaphorical Hail Marys and Glory be to the Fathers I could manage. I’d done my act of contrition.

I was absolved.

Kind of.

I suspect that tomorrow, I’ll need to go confess again.

You know, New Year’s Eve is just there on the horizon.

And the confessional is waiting.

*TM = Treadmill

Relax. Yes, Just Do It.

Relax is one of those words where saying it to yourself invokes certain visual images.

Relax.

How many of you envisioned beaches and rum drinks?

I know I did.

Relax.

Maybe you thought of yoga or a massage.

Also good.

Relax.

Ok, so how many of you thought about simply about being at home, with no work or chores or responsibilities. Just sitting, being quiet.

For me, definitely.

And how many of you, when thinking of sitting still with nothing to do get a feeling akin to petting the cat the wrong way? Just can’t do it. No way no how.

Interesting, isn’t it? For many people, sitting quietly at home with nothing to do is considered both lazy and immoral.

Personally, I’ve always been really good at allowing myself to relax. If I need a nap, I take it. I give myself permission to have downtime.

I don’t think sleeping when your body needs it and planning for downtime is either lazy or selfish. It’s sane and reasonable.

The Good Man often says that I taught him the value of The Flop. Come home from work, change into comfy, non-binding clothes, then flop on the bed. Just for a while. Twenty minutes maybe? Let the day slow down. Hug both cat and spouse.

And THEN you are in such a better mood to get up and make dinner. Food tastes better when you are happy and relaxed while you cook.

Really, children and cats have it right. Eat a little. Play a little. Nap a little.

It’s when we get to be grownups that our minds get twisted by the shoulda, woulda, couldas.

Today, I reject all of them and say, simply, relax.

Embrace The Flop.

(This post is a good reminder to myself as much as anyone. Sometimes even I get caught up in the moving too fast, gotta get it done, go go go mentality).

Theme Thursday‘s theme of the week is: Relax

Photo by Joseph Hoban and provided royalty free via stock.xchng

Blog Post Title

Opening sentence that is witty, sets the tone, or is outlandish. This first paragraph should get the reader’s attention and make them want to read more.

Second paragraph. This one explains about the topic at hand. In most cases this will tell a story, give some background, or provide some research. A wild and wacky childhood story is always useful to make a point.

Third paragraph. This is the life lesson. The what I learned. The what this means to me. The how this should make you feel. Or a shared moment of awe, laughter or a call to action.

Fourth paragraph. Sum it up. Bring it all to a conclusion. Tie up the threads. Make it all make sense.

End with a quote, something profound, or just be silly.

(fun .jpg that visually represents the blog post)

**Today’s blog post brought to you by the museless writer known as Karen Fayeth

***For something kick ass, check out the National Geographic Photo of the Day titled, West Texas Cowboy.

The Well Went Dry

I guess my insightful marbles and rubber chicken post yesterday tapped out The Muse.

I’m at another lean spell on blog topics. So you know what that means!

Imagination Prompt roulette!

A spin of the wheel and away we go!!

Your present job makes you…

Able to pay the rent and buy groceries and every once in a while, a stupidly expensive bauble.

One food you would never give up is…

What?!? Give up a food?!? : looks around suspiciously :

Never! You can’t take me and my twinkies alive!

Nothing matters…

You’re telling me.

(I don’t make these up…they come straight off the prompt)

I remember when…

…my dad used to start a sentence with “I remember when…” and then I’d turn up the television just a little bit louder.

Why do you feel like you do right now?

A carefully managed concoction of sugar, fat, salt, and vodka. Lots and lots of vodka.

What’s the coolest piece of technology you work or play with?

I work for the most austere tech company in the world. We don’t make cool. We make reliable.

So that lets out the work part of the question.

Play with? Well, the husband has an iPad which is VERY cool. When he got that, I got his MacBook Air. I know the technology is a couple years old but I’m deeply enamored of this little thin machine. It’s beautiful and reliable and it makes the PC on my workdesk look like a hunchback.

What’s the last piece of art you made?

Ok, now we’re in my wheelhouse!

I think it was the three small canvases that I turned in for the Brooklyn Art House Co-Op project. I mailed those out on Sept 1.

That’s a LOOONG dry spell of not creating any art.

I’d better get on that.

High school reminds you of…

Horrible dark things I shant share here.

I generalize about _____ because…

… _____ is so specific.

Why now?
Because I’m booked later.

Could you stay in bed all day and think?

Yes. I could also stay in bed all day and not think if anyone is looking for that talent.

Today when I put on my pants, I…

Double checked I’d zipped my fly. Otherwise it’s too drafty.

Money is _____ and here’s why

Wait. I thought _____ was specific. Now it’s specifically money?

I have the golden touch!

Woo hoo!

I’m off to go spend my _____ all around town.

And there we have it.

Thanks for tuning in through the latest edition of Writer’s Block!

What Does This Image Mean to You?

Take a gander. I’ll bet this image elicits an immediate visceral reaction:

It sure does for me. If you were in college or attended any sort of raucous party in the last several decades, then you too have an instant recognition and reaction to….

The ubiquitous Solo Red Cup.

Truly an American icon.

When a keg is purchased, what must come along with it? A nice big stack of Solo Red Cups.

Having a picnic? Well then what is a certain necessity? The Solo Red Cup.

Up for a game of beer pong? Gonna need several of these bad boys.

Sometimes it comes in blue, but red is the most recognizable and widely available color.

I have a deep appreciation and a love for the Solo Red Cup that borders on something inappropriate (but not quite objectophilia).

Summertime makes me think of my old friend Solo Red Cup. Warm days, beer with a head that is way too foamy because the knucklehead tapped the keg wrong, and flip flops.

In my memory, days seem a lot simpler when I have a Solo Red Cup in my hand.

May we all have a Solo Red Cup kind of a day….

Cheers!