Category: latent childhood

Time for some honesty, here.

I believe I’ve arrived at the time of my life where I need to be honest with myself, my fans, and my fellow mankind.

Yes, it’s true, I have used. Used a questionable substance. Used it real good.

In my twenties, I was strong. I eschewed this terrible enhancement. I was totally clean, and felt righteous and strong, though brittle. I was able to use the sheer force of my will to avoid using. A moral victory.

In my thirties, it was harder to get there, harder to be as successful, so with the guidance of a certain suspect doctor, I reintroduced this substance into my world, using as often as possible. In public. I didn’t even try to hide it.

I sometimes even used with my best friend. And my own family.

My sister is a known user. We use together. She has even drawn her children into the circle of usage. Those young’uns love the stuff.

My husband uses too.

I know there is a growing sentiment against this substance, but it helped me. Truly. Got me past the difficult times. Gave me a sense of peace when it seemed the whole world was upside down. Helped me be grounded. Right next to a stack of pancakes.

Maybe I was just young. Naive. Didn’t know better. Listening to bad guidance. Following the crowd. Trying to be one of the team. Just working to be popular.

I did it for the fans.

Yes, I’m a user. I own it. It makes me a better person.

I still use. You people can’t stop me.

That’s how you own it, ARod, you lying sack of ____.

Notes from the brain pan

First of all, to all the good folks, including both mom and mom-in-law, who are concerned about the posts related to my troubles at work, thank you for being concerned. This week has turned out a bit better.

Also, I got paid today, and that always helps improve the outlook.

I imagine I’ll survive this. Or I won’t. Either way, the sun will come up again tomorrow and I’ll have to face another day. And I’ll have to face myself in the mirror. The way I do that is by knowing I did my best, worked my hardest and did so with humility.

Onward.

__________

Next…thanks to the gentleman driving the Explorer in the lane next to me on Wednesday morning. I was running late for work (overslept the alarm, snarf!) and I was, yes, speeding. But so were you. Thanks to your slower response time, I was able to take my foot off the gas first, you shot past me, and that nice CHP officer paid you a visit instead of me.

Whew. I have two months left on the eighteen months since my last ticket (you can only mask one traffic violation every 18 months), so you really saved me there!

__________

Don’t know if you are experiencing the same thing where you’re at, but to me, it’s like everyone in society is moving along in a fog. Making bonehead moves on the road. Bumping into me at the grocery. Looking at me blankly when I ask a question.

So, a nod to The Good Man for best summing up society’s recent weirdness:

(paraphrased)

“We had the buildup from the campaign, then the excitement of the election, anticipation of the new president and then finally the climax of the inauguration. It’s like the whole country just needs a cigarette.”

And a salty snack.

Indeed.

__________

Speaking of salty snacks…am I going to be the only person in the US not watching the Superbowl this weekend?

Because, really, Pittsburgh vs Arizona?

Sure, I know that AZ is the Cinderella story. Whatever. I could care less.

And Pittsburgh. Do we really need to see them win again?

I might whip up a batch of salty snacks, however, and watch Season 2 of The Muppet Show. I found it at the library and it’s providing much singing along and childish giggles from TGM and me.

Best thing to watch after a rough day at work, I’ll tell you THAT.

__________

Or maybe I should just have a cheese sandwich.

Been watching cheese sandwich-gate in the ABQjournal with interest. Oh Fair New Mexico, you still do scandal in a fun way.

Love it. And from what I’m reading, the press coverage has brought in quite a bit of the delinquent money! Nice.

__________

Lastly, the weather is messin’ with my head. Sunny and 70’s. Rainy and cold. Then just clear and cold. And today, back to the 70’s.

Mother Nature, you are FREAKING me out, maaahn.

But I’m not complaining about the sun. I’ll take it.

That is all.

Happy Weekend!

Want.

Yanno, I’m really ticked at the economy. Sure, I have a good job and a paycheck, but I’m finding that saving a few more of my shekels is a grand idea.

“Cash is King!” or so shouts all of the financial hacks who think they know better. Those same ones who told us all to invest in real estate.

Bah!

The problem with this financial austerity is that there are still lovely things in the retail world that entice me. Sing to me. Make me want to break out my paid off credit card and charge, baby, charge!

The latest little gem that’s got my eye is this:

(click photo for specs)

This is Polaroid’s latest entre into the world of photography.

It’s called a PoGo and is a digital camera. But it also has built in an inkless photo printer so you can instantly print photos of your choosing, when you want.

Now…this baby is only 5.0 megapixels, so it’s not wowing the photographic world.

But I love me a Polaroid camera. And by love, I mean LOVE. I had one as a kid. I own several now.

I was a *fool* for Polaroid’s I-zone that made these teeny sticky photos. I carried that thing everywhere.

I have tiny photos ALL over my journals from around the early 2000’s.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my high end camera and the gloriousness of the photos I can take. The depth of detail is amazing.

That said, I want the PoGo bad, because it’s FUN and *boop*, there’s a photo print.

Want!

Here’s the ouchie part.

It’s not available until March and I think will have a price point of $200.

I feel like two hundy is a little high for a Polaroid, but maybe if I’m very good and save my pennies, by this summer I can be shooting and printing and generally giggling over my new Polaroid cam.

My folks taught me that if you want a big ticket item, you gotta work a little for it.

So ok. Back to work. I get paid this week. After rent, end of month bills and credit card payments, there won’t be much left. But maybe I can put away a few.

Damn, I’m so fiscally conservative it makes my teeth hurt.

When really, I just want to be like Animal from The Muppet Show.

“CAM-ER-A!!! CAM-ER-A!!!! ME WANT!!!”

Whoa, I didn’t know…

The upcoming film “Hotel for Dogs” was a book penned by none other than New Mexico’s own Lois Duncan. As a kid, I loved many of Ms. Duncan’s books.

I understand that the hype from the film has given new life to her writing career that went a bit off track after the brutal unsolved killing of her 20 year old daughter.

Back in the day, my mom used to take us kids swimming on a hot summer day to the Coronado Club on Kirtland Air Force base. Occasionally we’d see Ms. Duncan there (I believe her husband worked for Sandia Labs).

That was back in the days when mommies stayed at home and would take the kiddies to the pool and we would meet daddies after work for dinner. It may do my mom’s heart good to know that I have incredibly fond memories of those days.

And that fondness includes Lois Duncan. I’m happy to see her back in the show.

This was all brought to the front of my mind by a great article written by Joline Gutierrez Krueger for the ABQjournal:

“Real-Life Tragedy Almost Derails ‘Hotel for Dogs’ Author’s Career”