Started out full of optimism.
A brand new president.
Aretha got a new hat.
Speechifying…and stuff.
But ended with pessimism. Oh is the learning curve on this new job bending me in new directions. But it’s a good job and the new President said we all have to work harder.
Well.
No choice but to end the day with the fruit of Napa Valley.
Then go to bed, and try again tomorrow.
Today was a particularly tough day for me to roll out of bed with the alarm and come to work.
I didn’t sleep well last night due mainly to the crazed feline. I have a friend who has a theory that occasionally the cat brain will release some hormone that is akin to kitty crack, which then is the reason for the dilated eyes and tendency to gallop around the house making crazed movements.
If that is true, then my personal feline got deep into the kitty crack at about 3:30 in the ayem, and is, today, my least favorite person in the world.
Sleepy eyed, I ventured out onto the highway to make my way into my place of employment. I was heartened to see the sun slanting over the hills with the promise of a really warm day. This never fails to cheer me.
But that smile turned into a snarl when I made the merge and found myself rolling behind this.
Click for full size if you can’t make it out. If you can make it out, what you see there is a Forerunner with two surfboards sticking out the back.
Dude driving and his long-haired blond lady in the passenger seat are headed, I assume, to Pacifica for a nice day of surfing.
While I drive to work to sit under florescent lights all day and literally watch my muscles lose their elasticity. In a building located in what is considered one of the most foggy and windy areas of the Bay Area.
And this is fair how?
I’ve been listening to the Holly station on my Sirius radio pretty steady for the past few days.
It plays a nice mix of old standards and contemporary holiday songs. Not all the songs jingle my bells, the Ann Murray and the Manheim Steamroller could get toned down a little, but so far so good.
Until this morning.
As I dressed for work, I heard the sounds of a woman caterwauling the John Lennon protest song “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)“.
I glanced at my receiver to see just who was perpetuating this abomination, and gasped when I read the readout.
Celine Dion
How could this happen? Where are the controls to manage such things? It is not ok for the soulless and vapid Celine Dion to put her trilling note-running shriek on a song that is both moving and meaningful. And written by a talented artist and not some sham with a daddy-husband’s money to make her famous.
I was beside myself, truly.
Look, all you Celines and Josh Grobin’s and John Tesh’s and Yanni’s (and dare I say, Nelson Martinez’s) need to just stay back behind the very explicit WonderBread white line in the sand. You just commit your egregious crimes against musical taste and soul and leave the heavy lifting to those who are much more qualified.
Meanwhile, I had to cleanse my aural cavities with some holiday sounds from James Brown followed by John Lee Hooker.
It was the only way to get right after what I experienced.
There oughta be a law for such crimes against humanity.
(Aye God, can this woman not be stopped? Evidently her cover of AC/CD’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” was voted worst cover song in a magazine survey.)
So. Word on the street is that today is December.
But I’m not buyin’ it.
Because I’m fairly certain I did NOT authorize 2008 to dissipate so quickly.
Nope. No way. No how. I don’t care that people are Christmas shopping. I don’t care that decorations are cropping up. Nope.
Nuh uh.
Not gonna do it.
Oh, and *someone* must have told the Bay Area that it’s December today because it went and got all overcast and foggy and crappy and, well, wintry.
I’m telling you, if we all band together against this thing, it doesn’t HAVE to be December. Roll back the calendar, get the sun out of storage and let’s go on about our lives circa, I don’t know, June?
How does June work for you? Do I hear a July? Going once, going twice…
Please stand by…I’m going to go see about fixing this.
You know, over the years I’ve heard many a grownup yell and throw things at the television when a commercial came on using a song that meant something to them “back in the day”.
Let’s be clear, advertisers are sluts. They’ll use any jingle, tune or icon imagery if they think it will sell.
Oh, yes, the howls over The Beatles “Revolution” being used to sell Nikes.
The Rolling Stones “Start me up” for Microsoft and “Satisfaction” for Snickers.
Carly Simon’s “Anticipation” used to sell ketchup.
And Bob Seger’s “Like a Rock” used for Chevy Trucks. To name but a few.
Yup.
I always agreed and smiled mirthfully while my older friends lamented the demise of their meaningful music.
Until just a few days ago. Yes, a few days ago, I saw this commercial.
And suddenly I was yelling and throwing things at the television.
They have abducted The Fixx!
“Saved by Zero”, an iconic song (at least to ME), is now used to shill freaking Toyota cars and trucks at “amazing zero percent financing”.
It’s wrong.
I had to cleanse my senses by watching the original, sort of nonsensical video.
(YouTube says this one can’t be embedded, so here’s the link.)
Ok, I get it. I’m in that “key” 35-50 demographic where they *hope* we have jobs, responsibilities, and the wherewithal to finance a new Toyota automobile.
But come ON!
It is, for me, a loooooong leap from my New Wave cool “we’re not going to be like you” days in high school to tooling around town in a sensible Prius.
And. They. Won’t. Stop. Playing. That. Ad.
Especially during post-season baseball.
Ugh!
I have to wonder, in twenty years, which current modern pop songs will be used to shill products?
The one about the stripper? (Ray J’s “Sexy Can I”)?
The one about the stripper (Flo Rida’s “Low”)?
Or the one about the stripper (T-Pain’s “I’m in love with a stripper”)?
Ah well, I can rest easy knowing that in 2028, these young whippersnappers will be hollering and throwing things at the television.
“Hey you kids, get off my lawn!”
