Oh mighty interwebs, how you amuse me with your advertising and your behind-the-scenes formulas for placing the right ad on the right content.
And so, as I was searching for a delicious, yet not healthy at all, soup recipe, I found this.
Yeah, so given the choice of whatever torture, pill or unguent I have to endure for the “tiny belly” or to nosh on homemade cheddar beer soup, I’m gonna go with the soup.
And the beer. One for the soup, one for the cook.
Seeking to up the volume of traffic to this little blog of mine, I recently joined a free service that can help drive some eyeballs my direction.
The way it works is this: you have to start out by earning credits. To earn credits, you surf the blogs and websites of other members, stay there for at least thirty seconds, and then click a button to log your visit.
Once you have credits, based on how many you have, your blog gets put into the rotation. With that, your site starts to get views, with the hope you’ll find some sticky visitors.
So I’ve been doing this, idly surfing websites, while watching television or doing other internet surfing, working to earn plenty of credits.
Over the past couple days, I’ve looked at a lot of blogs. I’ve even found a few new sites I’ll keep visiting (see, the process works!).
I’ve also discovered that there is A LOT of dreck out there.
So based on two days of this surfing along, here is my not very scientific conclusion:
The majority of blogs out there on the internets are written by Malaysian teenage girls. Some boys too, but mostly girls.
Malaysian teenage girls who like to post photos taken with their phone cameras.
Photos of themselves with their boyfriends. Photos of them with their BFF’s. And usually at least one photo of their parents who always *clearly* look like they don’t want to have their picture taken.
Oh, and food. Over the past days, I’ve seen a LOT of sushi, udon noodle bowls and a preponderance of mochi.
I knew mochi was gaining popularity here in the Bay Area, I had no idea just how crazy the Malaysian people are for this confectionary treat. Especially mochi ice cream. That shows up on a lot of blogs.
Who knew? Apparently, this whole time, if I wanted more views, I just needed to post this:
Behold, original mochi (with red bean paste center)
I am quite the fan of words and language, and so it’s no surprise that while traversing the interwebs yesterday, I was drawn to an article talking about an affinity (or lack thereof) for certain words.
It’s not very interesting to know that love is picked most often as a favorite and hate picked as least favored.
But it’s the words that come in next on the list that were really fascinating to me.
Evidently, there is a good portion of the world that have a real problem with the word moist, devoting Facebook pages and blogs to the hatred of this word.
Hmm.
I’m ok with moist. It doesn’t have a bad connotation for me. I also like to use the made-up derivation moisty when referring to something that has a moist quality. Like, those damp Swiffer cloths. Those are “the moisty-kind Swiffers” (an abomination of the English language, I don’t deny).
Another disfavored word on the list is panties, and I’ll admit, I’m not a fan either. It is probably because the word is most often used by guys, and said with a letch quality to it. Skeeving me out doesn’t make me like a word so much.
However, I LOVE the word chones for the same article of clothing.
Yes, I own my Spanglish. I’m a New Mexican, it’s our state language. (Look no further than the “Toss No Mas” ad campaign!)
Also, people seem not to like the word ointment. I like it. Gotta say it with heavy emphasis on the “oi” part, though, and make a funny face while you do it. Makes the word fun!
But! I *much* prefer unguent (also said with a face). Man, that’s a great word. Salve is not bad either.
Some of the words on the hated list, like vomit, are more about the connotation of the word and not the word itself. Vomit can be fun to say! But no so much fun to do. So I guess I get why people don’t like it. I think the word itself gets a bad rap.
And one person notes her least fave word is vigil, which, must be a weird one-person thing, because I don’t get it.
I tried to think about what is my own least favorite word and nothing came immediately to mind. I can pretty much find something redeemable in most words.
While taking a walk, I realized that the words that make me wince are usually the made up and overused business-speak like mindshare and synergy.
Right now my least favorite word has to be optics. Not the word itself, but how it’s used at my job. It is put in place of “how it looks”. So, for example, if a supplier hands you the keys to a brand new Porche, even if it’s only to go for a fun spin around the parking lot, the optics of the situation are bad.
I was told, after one of my employees messed something up and the complaint went all the way to the VP, “yeah, the optics aren’t good on this situation.”
It’s sort of a way to make something sound scientific and serious…when it’s NOT.
Favorite words? Onomatopoeias (words that sound like what they mean). Squelch!! Boom! Bap!
Delicious bon mots for the day!
Oh, and simpatico. LOVE that word!
Yeah. Good stuff.
This morning, I was listening to the radio, and there was random blather about how the son of David Bowie has a new movie coming out. They discussed how the young fellow has changed his birth name, Zoey Bowie, to the more normal Duncan Jones. (for obvious reasons, they say).
Which led to a conversation about David Bowie’s real name, David Jones, for those who don’t know. He changed it because, at the time, Davy Jones of The Monkees was popular, and so to avoid confusion… (now, in hindsight, could anyone *ever* confuse Davy Jones with David Bowie? I think not.)
Plus, Bowie is a more “sticky” word (as they say in advertising). I mean…you could say, “wow, the music of Jones…” and one might wonder “Quincy? Tom? Norah? Davy?” right? But say Bowie, and you know…ol’ Ziggy Stardust himself. (Total aside…for some reason, Ziggy Stardust is one of the top keyword searches in Google that gets people to my blog…because of one random post where I named checked his glam self. So this oughta really bring ’em around!)
So, as I took this all in, I had a thought…you know, those rock star names work!
John Mellencamp? John Cougar!
Curtis Jackson? 50 Cent!
William Bailey? Axl Rose!
Declan McManus? Elvis Costello!
Patricia Andrejewski? Pat Benatar!
The list goes on. More here.
So then all the cogs and gears of my own mind started working overtime (ignore the smoke).
I need a rock star name.
Sure, those two years of (now defunct) guitar lessons might pay off! My rendition of Red River Valley is *flawless* and I can swing an acoustic axe with the best of the third graders.
Truly. My plain jane name needs a makeover.
So what’s a normal named soul to do? Why take to the internets, of course!
And find and use a Rock Star Name Generator.
I’ll admit, the first suggestion amused me not. Ellyn Carnes? No.
It doesn’t have that “I trash hotel rooms” sound I’m looking for.
So I went again, and there it was.
My rock star name.
Perfect.
You know, the more popular online stores, the Amazons and the iTunes of the world are getting more sinister sneaky creative.
They have started these “recommended for you” features or “just for you” picks.
The choices are based on what you have looked at or bought in the past. iTunes also looks at your current library to make recommendations.
Which is both cool and diabolical because it makes me buy more. I mean, they find stuff I may not have thought of! I’ve dropped serious coin after an hour on the “just for you” feature on iTunes.
So when I’m bored, I’ll go over and take a gander to see what’s recommended. Maybe I’ll make a new find!
However…I’m starting to get nervous about just what, exactly, my “recommended for you” lists say about me.
Here is an actual screen capture of my actual “Just for You” list on iTunes:
This does not say “hip cat”. This does not say “cutting edge”. This does not say “wow, you are the person people want to be like”.
This says…you are lame as hell and listen to the kind of music they play in the elevators around the world.
I can’t even debate the choices. I *adore* Roger Miller, I already own that Lynn Anderson, and I’ve been known to favor a tune or ten by Mickey Gilley. I used to own that Goo Goo Dolls (but wearied of them) and that Michael McDonald song is one of my all time favorites. Oh and that song “Wildfire”…well, it brings a tear to the eye every time.
Fine. I’m a dork. Whatever.
This is like going to the dentist with teeth you are pretty sure are spotless and then they make you chew that red tablet and show you just how god awful dirty your teeth really are.
Sometimes it’s better not to look too closely in the mirror.
I won’t *even* share my Amazon recommendations list. My mother reads this blog, fer goodness sakes! I swear I only accidentally clicked on that questionable item ONCE! I swear!