Seen around the interwebs, a sculpture by Chinese artist Chen Wenling depicts, roughly, a gaseous Wall Street bull pinning Bernie Madoff against a wall.
Not sure what it all means. But, strangely, I like it.
Source: BBC link with a larger photo.
Ok, confessional time. Yes, I’m owning it here, publicly, on my blog.
Here we go
Due to the immense amount of food they provide here at my job, cookies, cakes, lots of candy, full lunches, parties, celebrations, the whole nine yards….
I *might* have maybe, sort of, kind of….gained some weight.
I know. *gasp*
Not a lot. But enough to make most of the clothes in my closet feel tight.
So, I do that thing that women do, “Oh, I’ll lose this. I don’t need to buy new clothes! I’d just buy them and have to give them away, what a waste of money!”
What do I do? I wear the few items that fit over and over. And wear the tight things and sit at my desk with a wince as I get marks on my body from the clothes.
So, I just…I don’t know…gave up. I started dressing like crap. If you know me, you know clothes and style matter to me. So this is REALLY giving up.
I’m not proud of it.
Well, as fate will do, I had a *very* important meeting today, one where I needed to be on my game. And I needed to dress in a businesslike way.
In preparation, I tried on all my current dress pants. Yeah. No luck. Ok, I could get them on and zipped, but they were tight and immediately began pressing into my waist.
This isn’t humorous.
With fear in my heart, a couple days ago, I took to the mall, shopping discount outlets looking for *something* I could make work. Something I could wear and look professional and still be comfortable.
Guys, you have to know. To a woman…shopping for pants is the seventh level of hell. I don’t know why, it just is. Only slightly more appealing than shopping for a swimsuit.
The mall I visited is all broke down and busted (like many malls are these days) and it was a very hot day in the Bay Area. The entire mall had NO air conditioning, so shopping for pants (ugh!) with a sheen of sweat on your brow is not amusing. May I reiterate: NOT!
And being the cheap ass that I am, I wanted something at a low cost.
So. I found a couple things. The quality was only so-so. I wasn’t overjoyed with the items, but ok. I’d have something to wear.
I was depressed.
Then, yesterday I had an inspired idea. There is a store I used to shop at quite a bit, but then drifted away from. Their stuff is good, stylish, but often a little pricey. Their last couple of lines were not attractive at all, so I had moved on.
But I remembered that they usually stock a good range of sizes.
Yesterday after work, I went to this store. And I almost cried. In addition to air conditioning, they had gotten in all their new Fall line and much of it was TOTALLY my style. And sizes! Oh the size choices. I tried on some stuff that was too big! Some too small, but they had the next size.
And their prices were not that bad, actually. Reasonable. They’ve clearly made a shift to help with the economy.
So I stocked UP. I mean, I went a little nuts. I bought good quality clothes that fit and make me feel *good*. I bought a whole new wardrobe!
I walked out smiling. Today I’m wearing one of the new outfits and I am walking so much taller. My pants fit! They don’t bind. My waistline has been spared for the day. My whole outlook has vastly improved.
Ladies! Don’t give in to stuff that cuts and binds! Wear clothes that fit and feel good!
(and yes, I’m cutting back on the feed rations and exercising. Lifelong battle.)
Over the weekend we had to make one of those never any fun but always essential visits to Target. You know that trip, the list includes toilet paper, laundry soap, toothpaste, etc.
You spend a hundred bucks and don’t even bring home anything fun.
I was *very* adamant with myself on this trip that I would get only what was on my list, and not wander.
Oh, I can wander. At a Target? I’m a wandering, shopping fool.
But no. The Good Man and I made a list. A thoughtful, in depth list. And I promised to stick to it.
Gah! But it’s Taaaaarget!
No, no. Must be austere. Financial times are tough. Tighten the ol’ belt and whatnot.
So I pushed that little red shopping cart up and down the aisles. Razor blades, check. Kitty litter, check. Toilet bowl cleaner, check.
But then. Oh then…I rounded the corner, and at the end of the row, I landed promptly in the…oh sigh…school supplies aisle.
And by aisle, I mean huge display.
Oh yes, Target has the “back to school” on with gusto.
I caught my first whiff of brand new three ring binders and I was suddenly intoxicated.
I stepped into the brightly lit and vibrantly colored area, eyes wide, wandering around like a hillbilly at Times Square.
It was delicious.
They have one whole section devoted to Crayola items. I *adore* all things Crayola. Those are some damn fine people who put out the Crayola product line!
I’m not going to lie to you, I plucked a sixty-four count box of Crayons from the bin, lifted to my nose, and sniffed.
*sniiiiiiiiiif* Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.
I fondled a twenty-four pack of fine line Crayola markers. I even took them from the rack, intent on purchase.
But, no. No, damnit, I must be strong.
I looked at notebooks. I do love a fresh, clean, happy notebook full of blank pages, just waiting to be sullied by my new twenty-four pack of markers!
No, no. Steady soldier!
My eyes grew hazy as I gazed at the selection of pens, Elmer’s school glue, hole punches, pencil cases, protractors, and back packs.
Gad, it was heady stuff! I loved every minute of it. I basked. I wandered. I touched and sniffed and generally fell in love all over again with school supplies.
Mind you, I don’t miss school. That part was never fun, but the school supplies! Oh the supplies. So great.
After leaving the store with my purchases, (I held strong and stuck to the list), I noted that two storefronts down was a Staples.
Egads, I had to walk past it!
But no, I’d had my hit. I was still riding high, so I was fine.
I walked past the Staples strong and confident, the waxy smell of Crayons still lingering in my nostrils.
The government cares. No really, they do. And so with their help, I’ve taken a good look at myself today. I mean, a real good look.
How are YOU feeling? Maybe you could check in too?
Herewith:
Getting Through Tough Economic Times from the Department of Health and Human Services.
“It is important to be aware of signs that financial problems may be adversely affecting your emotional or mental well being –or that of someone you care about.”
In other words….Did Mr. Jones take all your cash? Does that tick you off?
Let’s check in, shall we?
Warning Signs
Persistent Sadness/Crying
Only when I look at my bank account.
Excessive Anxiety
Only when I look at my bank account.
Lack of Sleep/Constant Fatigue
Yes. But I can’t really blame the economy for the fact that we are having cold windy nights, and since my personal internal thermometer tends to run hot, the cat and The Good Man sleep on top of me to stay warm.
Excessive Irritability/Anger
Only at 3:00 in the morning when I’m burning up hot and can’t get fourteen pounds of cat or six feet two inches of husband off of me.
Increased drinking
Yeah, a little. The Good Man, his friend and me did have two bottles of wine on Sunday (at a bar-b-que). Did you know that Lambrusco is really tasty and drinks awfully easily? Did you know that with enough fizzy red wine in your gullet, you kinda feel a lot better about a whole lot of things in your life? Well, that and the red meat. And the smoked fish from Alaska. Damn…that was a fine dinner…..
Illicit drug use, including misuse of medications
Does Claritin count? Because with this wind, my eyes and nose are like faucets. I may be abusing the stuff…not sure.
Difficulty paying attention or staying focused
What’s that over there? I think I’m hungry. What’s the square root of 686?
Apathy – not caring about things that are usually important to you
Whatever.
Not being able to function as well at work, school or home
Let’s see…after a marathon two days of writing a presentation in which I basically justified my job to our new austere European owners, today I’m at work with nothing to do and writing on my blog.
Not sure I could be less value added if I tried. Or should that be value subtracted? Not sure how the absolute values work in relation to lazyosity.
.
.
.
Hmm. Ok. So I’m not sure I can draw any conclusions from that exercise.
And I think they may have left a few off the list. My additions:
Do you check your online money accounts more than three times a day?
Do you find yourself in the lunchroom with your coworkers discussing tax rates?
Do you cut coupons where you rarely did before?
Do you and your spouse look for “free” events, samples, activities and services?
Do you calculate how much gas it would take to get to a destination as a “go/no go” decision on running an errand?
Do you watch too much CNBC and then find yourself yelling at Jim Cramer and blaming him for a lot of things that aren’t actually his fault? (this one applies to Jon Stewart only)
Do you have fantasies about how good it used to be…in 2006?
If so…seek help.
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Ok, ok, I kid, I kid, but the online resource is actually pretty serious.
Link thanks to Bruce Daniels over at the ABQjournal.
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“I’m certain I have no idea what you are blathering on about, human. Now feed me.
Everyone is one.
This weird ass economic situation is really making people batty.
You hear about houses being sold in Detroit for $10,000.
They just announced that the jobless rate in California is a whopping 10% (just behind Michigan’s 11.6%).
Last week, three of my friends got laid off.
In a visit to my tax preparer this week, right before he delivered extraordinarily bad news, said “you get no stimulus.”
My company is about to be acquired by a European competitor.
And today one of my coworkers says to me, all bright and cheery, “I really feel like the economy is recovering!”
Your feeler might be broke, there, friend.
