Who am I?

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You know, the more popular online stores, the Amazons and the iTunes of the world are getting more sinister sneaky creative.

They have started these “recommended for you” features or “just for you” picks.

The choices are based on what you have looked at or bought in the past. iTunes also looks at your current library to make recommendations.

Which is both cool and diabolical because it makes me buy more. I mean, they find stuff I may not have thought of! I’ve dropped serious coin after an hour on the “just for you” feature on iTunes.

So when I’m bored, I’ll go over and take a gander to see what’s recommended. Maybe I’ll make a new find!

However…I’m starting to get nervous about just what, exactly, my “recommended for you” lists say about me.

Here is an actual screen capture of my actual “Just for You” list on iTunes:

This does not say “hip cat”. This does not say “cutting edge”. This does not say “wow, you are the person people want to be like”.

This says…you are lame as hell and listen to the kind of music they play in the elevators around the world.

I can’t even debate the choices. I *adore* Roger Miller, I already own that Lynn Anderson, and I’ve been known to favor a tune or ten by Mickey Gilley. I used to own that Goo Goo Dolls (but wearied of them) and that Michael McDonald song is one of my all time favorites. Oh and that song “Wildfire”…well, it brings a tear to the eye every time.

Fine. I’m a dork. Whatever.

This is like going to the dentist with teeth you are pretty sure are spotless and then they make you chew that red tablet and show you just how god awful dirty your teeth really are.

Sometimes it’s better not to look too closely in the mirror.

I won’t *even* share my Amazon recommendations list. My mother reads this blog, fer goodness sakes! I swear I only accidentally clicked on that questionable item ONCE! I swear!

Not fit for human consumption

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One of my coworkers brought his son to work today (day off from school) and the young man stopped by my office for introductions.

So what did I do, first off?

I cursed in front of the kid.

I am a bad, bad adult and a role model for no one…..

Upside is no one will dropping their rugrats off at my office anytime soon!

Using a protractor

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I think this whole getting used to being married thing is harder than I anticipated.

I started thinking about this at about 2:00 am last night (this morning?).

That was when I woke up cold and teetering on the edge of my bed.

See, I share my queen-sized with two others, one human, one feline. And somehow, I’m getting the fuzzy end of this lollipop.

I woke up this morning pretty cranky. I tried to tug on the blanket to cover my shivering shoulders, but to no avail, it wouldn’t budge.

So I assessed the situation. Turns out my six feet two inch husband was soundly asleep, and had arranged himself, roughly, into a right angle in our bed.

Yes, full on 90 degrees, the fulcrum of which was well over on my side of the bed. And by fulcrum, of course, I mean his big ol’ bootay shoved over that invisible line that has kept the peace in marriages for centuries.

On my side. Long limbed brotha was taking up a full three quarters of the entire bed.

And then, as if dotting the i, at the apex of the fulcrum rested our fourteen pound feline, limbs akimbo, thus taking up about half of the remaining quarter of the bed I got to inhabit.

I generally try not to disturb people when fast asleep, because I ask the same courtesy, so I tried just to make do. For about five minutes.

Then I got mad. And said aloud, “I’m taking back the night!”

Floppy cat was lifted and relocated. Good. Getting movement from the boy was going to take more thought.

So I went in for the nuzzle. The plan was, I nuzzle, and as he turns to return it, he will shift that bootay back over into the demilitarized zone.

It worked perfectly.

Then, as he turned, I tugged with all I had on the blanket, thus unloosening endless folds of blanket.

Yes. Success!

Happier with the more obtuse angle of the husband and the relocated location of the feline, I wrapped as much blanket around me as possible, dug in firmly in my space, turned my back on everyone, and went back to sleep.

You know…when I was single, I was able to flop like a starfish in the middle of my bed and sleep all night, undeterred.

I never knew a wife has to learn to be so cagy…

Spring has sprung!

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Here’s the proof! Look!

Daffodils*, in full bloom, bright yellow in a pretty purple vase in my office! Look at that, spring, sunshine, joy, leaping, flowers, yes!

Wait, stop…don’t look out that window! Don’t do it, I beg you!

Galldarn fog going and ruining my whole Spring thang. WHY!!?!?!

I just want a little sun. I just want to frolic. Is that too much to ask of you, Bay Area temperature inversion? You and your marine layer can BITE ME!

New Mexico wouldn’t let me down this way…it’s supposed to be 80 in Las Cruces today……..

*cranky*

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*Daffodils courtesy of the American Cancer Society Daffodil Days.