Now would be a good time…
You would think that after hitting an all time low point yesterday here at my own little blog (*grin*), that now would be a GREAT time to follow on with something witty, wise or profound to redeem my reputation.
Yeah, it *would* be a great idea, but I guess I don’t have it in me today.
See, someone out in the world was really, really mean to me today. So much so that later, away from that person, in the dressing room of a local discount department store I broke down and cried.
Add to this that I’ve had some good successes lately, but don’t feel able to share them and celebrate them with others because it isn’t appropriate.
On Monday I have a second round job interview with a company I *really* want to work for. But I can’t really jump up and down and talk about this because due to this crappy economy, several of my friends and family are without work (for various reason) and having a devil of a time finding a new spot. Me waxing rhapsodic about the potential to work for a well-known company AND get a promotion out of the deal goes over about as well as a cockroach in the ceviche.
So I keep it to myself.
I’ve also just had a small success related to my writing. It’s the first time I’ve had any sort of recognition at all for my creative work (outside of the kind words from friends and family). My work was judged in competition with other people and ranked well. I am beside myself, I’m so pleased.
But I can’t jump for joy because there are people in my life who are having a really, really hard time of it lately (health, finances, marriage troubles, etc), and to express my glee seems rude.
So I keep it to myself.
And while I’m so busy thinking about other’s feelings and being considerate, I’m out in the world minding my own business when this (oh I’d love to drop an insulting adjective here) woman has the audacity to vent her insecurities on me. It hurt deeply. It hurt because her highly vocal prejudice about my physical appearance struck a deep, dark chord within me that I won’t recover from soon…
And so right now, I’m mostly mad. And when the being mad is done, I might have some crying left to do.
Thank goodness it’s the weekend.
Comments
dave bonner
Its three years later. The wounds have healed. What did the bitch say?
thanks,
dave
dave bonner
PS:
It took two or three years but Dicks Cafe is now reopened. It hasn’t really changed. When they burned down… they reopened up across the tracks and across Main in the old 300 Club Bowling Center building. I live up on the East Mesa so don’t get to that side of town often but the last time I looked, New Dicks was also still open as a barbecue joint.
I played baseball until sixth grade when I discovered football. I am now the oldest football player in the Great State of New Mexico. See the pics on my site…the link is at the top of the page. The hooligan in the two videos on the home page is “the cute boy” standing beside me… my son. Most of the first video is shot at your university.