I’m in the wrong profession

David Blaine. Why is this guy news?

And yet he is. His front-page feat was to hold his breath for a real long time. On the Oprah show.

Really?

Shoot, I could hold my breath ’til I’m blue in the face and ain’t no one paying me a freaking cent.

Oh, but “he’s an entertainer”. Yeah. I can really crack ’em up around the coffee maker at work, but that isn’t bringing me any income.

What do I do all day? I sit in a fish bowl of a veal pen cubicle and type little words on a little machine to appease bitchy clients and suppliers.

I need a change of venue. Or maybe I’m just hungry. It is almost lunchtime afterall.

I’ll check back after sustenance. Perhaps my mood will have improved.

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