Category: where I come from

Conundrum

• Posted on October 5, 2009
• by Karen Fayeth
• 3 Comments

So, while drifting about the internets recently, I came across a blogger who dedicated an entire post to the fact that she *never* gives people gifts off their wedding/baby gift registry.

She said “never” and she meant it.

She said that she wanted to give people a gift that was “more thoughtful” (her words).

Uh. Ok, I may be weird, but not giving people something that they want and giving them instead something that YOU want…doesn’t seem very thoughtful to me.

It seems very…uh…well very selfish, actually.

I suppose my knickers may be laced a little too tight on this one, but having recently been through the whole experience of choosing items for a gift registry (a harder job that I’d expected it would be) I can recognize how much folks appreciate getting what they planned for and asked for.

Because, let’s be honest, all those super duper off-the-list “thoughtful” gifts people give? Well, they get returned at the earliest convenience. I’m certain of that.

Unless you get wedding gifts much like my best friend did. Hand made items. I swear to goodness they must have gotten like six different hand-hewn cheese cutters. They were all beautiful, hand crafted, beautiful wood, truly almost art objects.

But in the end, who needs that many cheese cutters? Unfortunately, the handmade cheese cutters don’t go back to Target so easily!

And we won’t even speak about the handpainted saw blade they also received. To be fair, it was really well done, again, truly an art object. But not really off the ol’ list.

The exception to this could be a side deal that you cut with the recipients. For example, my mom wanted to give us a really special wedding gift, and plates and cake pans weren’t lighting her up. So she checked in on this, and I appreciated her asking.

Together we figured out a really special, meaningful something that I cherish and always will.

Asking first, fine. Just dropping a hand bent roofing nail crafted surprise…well…may or may not be cool. At least not at a “big” event like a wedding or baby. Surprise birthday gift? Yes! White elephant holiday present? Sure!

There is a time and a place, you know?

Any bride and groom with good sense and class will be honestly grateful for any present you bring, but really, being thoughtful means giving up what YOU want, and considering what someone else wants instead.

Harder to do than it sounds, apparently.

(C’mon, any of ya’ll from the country have either given, received, or know someone who has received a soldered nail windmill. Am I right?)