Category: truth is stranger than…

Did you know?

That if you add the word “wedding” in front of almost any word in the English language, that you can add anywhere from $20 to $2,000 to the cost of said thing?

Tis true.

Regular ol’ cha-cha shoes? $30

“Wedding” shoes, same style? $70 (or more)

Pretty hair barrette? $10

“Wedding” hair barrette? $50 (or more)

Nice updo hair style by a stylist? $50

Same updo but “wedding hair” $200 (or more)

A nice dinner out? $40

A “wedding rehearsal” dinner, same food? $100 (or more)

Argh!

What?

The wedding planning is going fine.

Why do you ask?

Milk truck, stat!

Ok, no one was hurt so I’m allowed to joke…

Crash strews Oreos over I-80.

First of all, who uses the word “strews” anymore?

That said, traffic in Chicago was stopped in a delicious way when a truck carrying 14 tons of double stuffed Oreos overturned, tossing deliciousness in “plastic sleeves…into the median and roadway.”

This is a tragedy.

First, gas prices go up. Due to transport costs, milk prices go up. And now this utter devastation means a shortage in the Oreo supply.

It ain’t right, folks. It just ain’t right.

Gotta have my Vitamin O.

Oh, you knew it was gonna happen

Wednesday’s ABQjournal has a story that was, in my opinion, inevitable.

Suspects Held In Diesel, Gas Theft

Yup. Gas prices are so crazy. Recession is on. People have taken to stealing gas.

Are you surprised? Didn’t think so.

“Mark Hogan would park his box trailer over gas stations’ underground tanks, open a secret compartment and pump thousands of gallons of gas out of the ground.

Police say he then sold the fuel for $1.75 a gallon for unleaded and $2.50 for diesel.”

Hoo, a good deal!! Bet it sells like hotcakes, too.

Dude sold it mostly to his friends and used the money to fuel his meth habit.

Nice.

“The New Mexico Petroleum Marketers Association reported that 500,000 gallons of gas and diesel had been stolen from about 30 (Albuquerque) metro stations this year.”

And at $4 a gallon….I’m sure the $2M out of the coffers is but a blip on the petroleum screen…but I’m sure I know who will pay for this.

If you listen closely you can hear my wallet scream.

Remember back in the 70’s when people used to “pump and run”? That in response to gas shortages and high prices.

Oh well, these days you have to slide a card to get the pump to work anyway, so this is just the next “workaround”.

*sigh*

I’m in the wrong profession

David Blaine. Why is this guy news?

And yet he is. His front-page feat was to hold his breath for a real long time. On the Oprah show.

Really?

Shoot, I could hold my breath ’til I’m blue in the face and ain’t no one paying me a freaking cent.

Oh, but “he’s an entertainer”. Yeah. I can really crack ’em up around the coffee maker at work, but that isn’t bringing me any income.

What do I do all day? I sit in a fish bowl of a veal pen cubicle and type little words on a little machine to appease bitchy clients and suppliers.

I need a change of venue. Or maybe I’m just hungry. It is almost lunchtime afterall.

I’ll check back after sustenance. Perhaps my mood will have improved.

Doh!

Oh Fair New Mexico, how I love, I love you so…

“A crew working on state government’s Rail Runner commuter train cut a fiber-optic cable in Santa Fe Thursday, jamming telephone lines, cutting off Internet and cell phone service and causing other problems over much of northern New Mexico outside the capital city.”

Source: ABQjournal.

Living in the Silicon Valley, this kind of stuff is a HUGE deal. Not to under evaluate the effect on Santa Fe, just sayin’…if this happened here, lawsuits would begin flying.

Since part of what I do in my job is manage the telco requirements of my company, every time I do a contract, THIS is what I have in mind when we talk network diversity.

If someone (or many someones) isn’t fired over this, they oughta be.