Category: gettin’ hitched

Sometimes The Answer is Clear

Yesterday, when I saw that this week’s Theme Thursday was stairs, well, it didn’t take much for me to choose what to write about.

If yer talking New Mexico and yer talking stairs, then naturally…yer talking about Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe.

It is a stunningly beautiful and magical place.

For those unfamiliar, in the 1850’s the Loretto Chapel was being constructed, and when finished the Sisters of Loretto realized that, for whatever reason, no one planned a staircase to get from the floor of the church to the choir loft.

In addition, the chapel was made pretty small, so any staircase built would have to manage the impossibly small space.

The sisters were distraught at this situation and out of money for construction, so they prayed mightily about it. Legend has it that a man with carpentry skills arrived at the chapel and spent about six months creating an elaborate staircase that still stands today, the left without being paid.

The staircase is made from wood not native to the area, makes two full 360 degree turns with no center post for support, and uses only wood pegs, no nails or glue.

The chapel and the staircase have become busy tourist attractions and the chapel is also a very popular place to get married.

I’d hoped to be married there myself, but logistics were too difficult between California and New Mexico.

Enjoy a beautiful photo of the “miracle” staircase, one of my favorite destinations in the great State of New Mexico.



Loretto Chapel



Photo taken by user jfelderh and found at travel.webshots.com

Lessons in Night Photography

About a year ago, I took a wonderful class taught by teacher, friend and mentor, Marty Springer.

As part of the course, we did an evening of night photography.

I struggled mightily with the class. It made no sense. Why shoot photos at night? Where is the light that’s so fun to play with?

And manual mode? I have to shoot in manual mode? Gah!

So I listened to Marty and she was very patient and I really just didn’t get it. I got a few good photos from that night, but most were sad, weird and blurry.

Recently, I checked out a book from the library by popular photography author Harold Davis. It’s called Creative Night: Digital Photography Tips & Techniques.

Harold doesn’t say anything different from what Marty taught me. He just said it again. For some reason, it stuck this time.

This weekend The Good Man took me out to Fort Baker in celebration of our second anniversary.

Turns out there is a pier at Fort Baker that affords perfect unblocked views of the Golden Gate Bridge.

I told my partner in crime, “oh we’re coming back here tonight.”

One rule of night photography is that you need a friend to go along to be your lookout. Setting up the camera takes a bit of concentration and exposures take a long time. As photographer, you get a bit focused. Having someone to keep the weirdos away is always a good idea.

The Good Man wasn’t in love with the idea of going out to a pier at 9:00 at night, but I was insistent. As many husbands have done in the face of insistent wives, he came along for the ride with only a few “hmphs” and snorting sounds.

City born and raised husband was geared up and ready to take on trouble from any kooks hanging out down at the pier.

Turns out, the only trouble we would have was from a large family of skunks dining at the trash dumpster nearby.

Let me tell you, both City Boy and Country Girl were equally cautious about those damn skunks.

The word “whooooa” was uttered a lot.

That said…the night journey was WELL worth the trip.

If only for this photo.

Others from the weekend available on my Flickr.

Creative Commons License
Lessons in Night Photography text and images by Karen Fayeth are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.

Conundrum

So, while drifting about the internets recently, I came across a blogger who dedicated an entire post to the fact that she *never* gives people gifts off their wedding/baby gift registry.

She said “never” and she meant it.

She said that she wanted to give people a gift that was “more thoughtful” (her words).

Uh. Ok, I may be weird, but not giving people something that they want and giving them instead something that YOU want…doesn’t seem very thoughtful to me.

It seems very…uh…well very selfish, actually.

I suppose my knickers may be laced a little too tight on this one, but having recently been through the whole experience of choosing items for a gift registry (a harder job that I’d expected it would be) I can recognize how much folks appreciate getting what they planned for and asked for.

Because, let’s be honest, all those super duper off-the-list “thoughtful” gifts people give? Well, they get returned at the earliest convenience. I’m certain of that.

Unless you get wedding gifts much like my best friend did. Hand made items. I swear to goodness they must have gotten like six different hand-hewn cheese cutters. They were all beautiful, hand crafted, beautiful wood, truly almost art objects.

But in the end, who needs that many cheese cutters? Unfortunately, the handmade cheese cutters don’t go back to Target so easily!

And we won’t even speak about the handpainted saw blade they also received. To be fair, it was really well done, again, truly an art object. But not really off the ol’ list.

The exception to this could be a side deal that you cut with the recipients. For example, my mom wanted to give us a really special wedding gift, and plates and cake pans weren’t lighting her up. So she checked in on this, and I appreciated her asking.

Together we figured out a really special, meaningful something that I cherish and always will.

Asking first, fine. Just dropping a hand bent roofing nail crafted surprise…well…may or may not be cool. At least not at a “big” event like a wedding or baby. Surprise birthday gift? Yes! White elephant holiday present? Sure!

There is a time and a place, you know?

Any bride and groom with good sense and class will be honestly grateful for any present you bring, but really, being thoughtful means giving up what YOU want, and considering what someone else wants instead.

Harder to do than it sounds, apparently.

(C’mon, any of ya’ll from the country have either given, received, or know someone who has received a soldered nail windmill. Am I right?)

Still breaking this thing in

Last month, it was complete happiness and joy to celebrate my one year anniversary! Wow, a whole year.

Both of us marveled at how fast a year could fly by, and had great times remembering our wedding day. Truly, the best day of my life.

Just this week, we finally finished up our wedding albums (yay!) and so it goes, into the life of a married couple.

A few weeks ago, The Good Man had occasion to laugh and point at me (this happens fairly often, actually). He said, “You’re still not used to having someone around all the time, are you?”

Well. No, actually.

I mean. I was single for a long time.

And for a while, even when I was in a couple, we had such different schedules that I found myself with a lot of alone time on my hands. Which was ok.

Don’t misunderstand. I love my husband and miss him with an ache in my chest when he’s not nearby.

But…

Look, we all do things we’re not proud of. And, well, it’s often better to do such things without a witness.

Like, I don’t know, eating a dozen donuts, while still wearing your stained nightgown at 3:00 in the afternoon, sitting on the couch watching re-runs of “The Hills” or “Real Housewives” or something.

Or…

Listening to “The Big 80’s” radio station, indulging in the strains of “Tainted Love” or “Jump for my Love” or “Love is a Battlefield” without *someone* commenting “oh. my. god. Why are you listening to that?”

Or…

Putting a goopy green mask on your face while painting your toenails and plucking your eyebrows without hearing “Agh!”

Or…

Belting out a show tune, for no reason at all.

Or…

Needing to spend some, erm…time, in the one restroom in the house…without some damn boy standing outside the door making farty noises with his mouth. Cuz that’s not funny. And it’s rather embarrassing. But it makes him laugh every time so I can’t be too mad, because he’s adorable when he laughs.

You get my drift.

This marriage thing…it’s like breaking in a new pair of shoes that you *know* will be incredibly comfortable, but you gotta wear through the tight spots first.

Genetics are an odd thing

A couple weeks ago, my best friend came out for a visit. As chronicled in these pages, we had a really nice time.

While out and about at the Japanese Tea Garden, I took quite a few photos. Beautiful trees, swimming Koi, flowing water.

Near the fabulous barrel bridge we stopped, and The Good Man took a photo of my friend and I.

I won’t publish it here since I haven’t asked permission, but seeing the photo doesn’t actually matter to the discussion.

Here’s the point: Later, when I downloaded the photo and took a look at it on my computer screen, I looked at my own visage and was a bit surprised.

You know who I look like?

My father.

Um. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I mean…as a woman, I think it might not be preferable to, you know, as you age…start to look like your *male* parent.

Growing up, I always favored my mom’s side of the family. I have the distinctive pointy chin. I have the body shape. Yeah, ok, so I’d given over to my genetics and was ok looking like my mom.

The first time I noticed I was starting to favor my dad was when viewing the proofs from my wedding photos. There is one photo where I have an expression on my face that is *exactly* my dad. In fact, The Good Man often teases me, “Don’t give me the dad look!”

It’s a sort of squinty eyed skeptical look, and I’d copied it to perfection. I remember the moment, the photographer was doing something weird, kind of annoying me, and I gave her that vintage dad look and click went the shutter.

Ok, so I own that. I was making the face.

In this recent photo, I wasn’t making a face! I was simply standing with my beautiful friend in a beautiful setting smiling at my husband taking a photo.

Something around the eyes, I think. And my nose. But damnit, I look like my dad! Ok, sure, I’m sure the faint whiskers now growing around my chin aren’t helping my “I don’t want to look like a man” cause, but sheesh!

I even sent it to my sister who confirmed that yes, around the eyes, I’m starting to resemble dear old pops. She said, “have you ever noticed you do that one eyed squinty thing?’

Gah!

It’s not that my dad wasn’t an attractive person, it’s just…..that he was a MAN.

Gah!

Genetics are weird.