Category: fate

Requiem for an Artist

Funny how my heart has softened regarding the injury and subsequent death of Aaron Vigil.

When I first set out to blog about the severe electric shock he received while tagging a PNM substation, I was mad. Indignant. Felt the kid got what he deserved. Wondered how he could be so stupid.

But even as I typed, my thoughts softened. I wondered about this kid. Hoped he would recover and become something better, smarter.

Sadly that’s not to be. Young Aaron died Friday morning.

And still I’m left wondering.

Today’s ABQjournal article “Tagger Called Quiet, Artistic” tells us a bit more about this young man.

Contrary to the profile that I assumed must be the case, both mom and dad are in his life, still married, care a whole lot about their son, and are devastated at the loss.

His parents describe him as “artistic” and that artistry runs in the family. They describe him as saying “yes ma’am” and “yes sir” to hospital staff. They describe him as a wildly creative kid who would draw and paint and sketch.

By all accounts from this profile, he was a good kid.

So what leads a good kid to climb a fence to tag a power station thus ending a short life?

This story troubles me. I don’t know why, but I’ve taken it probably a little too much to heart.

I know a little about being tortured by my art. By being plagued by thoughts and ideas until I *had* to get them out on canvas, on watercolor paper, on film, or most often, in a fresh new Word document.

And I’ve done unconventional things in my art. Used unconventional media. I get that.

“Family members say they weren’t aware of Aaron’s tagging, which they prefer to call art.”

I can’t. I know that many taggers are amazing artists, but maybe it’s my too conservative upbringing. I can’t call vandalism art. Or maybe I can in some cases, but he climbed up there to write his nickname. A classic tagger gang-style thing to do. The article doesn’t mention any gang ties. Maybe he wasn’t affiliated. The article says he was with two other people who haven’t been identified and haven’t come forward. Maybe they pushed him into it?

I don’t know. I’m troubled. And saddened.

Somehow we let this kid down. I can’t chalk it up to “a dumb mistake”. I’ve made lots of dumb mistakes. There is more there, more to know.

If this kid had been given more room to channel his art, would that have changed things?

Somehow I doubt it. There is some piece of this story I’m missing. Some reason I may never know.

For now, I’m saddened for this child, saddened for the parents who lost their child, and hoping someday this makes sense.

And I need to go deep inside to better understand why this troubles me so……

In memoriam….

Are we losing them?

Yeah, so let me be upfront. I’m not a parent. I have grand respect for those who are. It’s a major sacrifice, albeit for a fulfilling reason. My best friend is mom to my two godchildren. My sister is mom to my two nephews. I love those four children more than I ever knew I was capable of loving any thing living or otherwise. I would physically hurt anybody who ever hurt any of those kids. So maybe I’m not a parent, but I “get it”. Like what I feel, but on major steroids.

So yesterday I wrote about an 18 year old kid who did something unthinkably stupid, almost losing his life in the process.

I started out writing planning a scathing evisceration of the child and his stupidity, but as I wrote, sympathy creeped in. I started to feel sad for the kid. Wondered about his parents, where were they in his life? I’ve known folks who were great parents who still had a kid gone wrong, but that’s more of an exception. I’ve been thinking a lot about the role of parents in a kid’s life. And how hard it is to be a good parent, how even the best make mistakes.

So I became real saddened to read an article in today’s Las Cruces Sun News titled “Teen drinks herself into a coma”.

Another case of a kid doing something unthinkably stupid. This petite 5’1″ girl was found with a blood alcohol content of .50. No, not a mistype. Legal limit is .08. Hers was .50.

She’s fifteen.

She didn’t die, which is amazing, but was thrown into a coma. Unsure yet what the long term damage will be to a still developing girl. For now, thankful she’s alive.

So it gives me pause….are more kids finding trouble these days, or is the news just reporting it more? Because from where I’m sitting I think we’re losing the battle to keep our kids safe and sane. It may be media hype getting me all riled up, I don’t know.

What I do know is that I can go to school every single day with those four beautiful children I adore but I still can’t keep them safe. And maybe my goddaughter makes good choices but her friends don’t. What then?

I know these are the things that keep parents up at night. These are the things that keep Niña Karen up at night, now, too.

My thoughts to the family of that young girl in Las Cruces. Much like I said yesterday, I hope as she lays there recovering she has some deep, serious thoughts about the trajectory of her life…..

And for the second day in a row, I opine that you can learn from your unthinkably stupid mistakes, or you can be doomed to keep going down that road.

Meanwhile, I want to hug all my godkids a lot right now. You think my boss would let me out of work early for that?

Hello? Yes…karma? Oh….

….it’s for you….

The ABQjournal had a small story today about a young man, 18 actually, who suffered terrible burns over 60 to 80 percent of his body…from electrocution.

“Oh my gosh!” you might gasp at this news, “how terrible!”

Yes it is, it’s terrible. It’s a terrible accident to happen to such a young man.

How could this have happened?

Seems the young man hopped a 15-foot fence topped with concertina wire in northwest Santa Fe.

So that he could tag a PNM transformer.

You know? Electricity?

Took his metal can of spray paint up there.

“The jolt blew all the clothes off the young man” reports the article.

Thankfully the kid was airlifted to a hospital where it appears he’ll recover.

So? What is the cost of being hip? Of marking your territory? Or showing off for your friends?

Certainly not your own young life, right?

My thoughts go out to this kid. I hope as he lays there healing he has some time to think about things…about the trajectory of his life.

After something like this…you can go two ways….you learn from it, or you ignore it and keep doing whatcher doing. It’s all up to you………

I hate it when the Guru is right

I’ve sat through TOO damn many of those woo woo classes in my life. I, like many of my generation, are searching for some kind of “meaning”. Poor lost little Generation X.

Yesterday I pined over cake.

Today I received cake. Two kinds. Both delicious.

So all those damn shysters who sell their tapes/books/crystals/rocks/pendulums/jewelry/decks of cards are right when they say “you must ask the universe for what you want”????

Really? Hmm. If I can make cake work…can I make something better work?

Ok, I add to my list from yesterday….

6. Be the author of a New York Times bestselling book

Take THAT Madame Fickle Hand of Fate!

:)

My Karma is Ok Today

I work for a fairly popular global company. It’s pretty well known and has managed to impact the way we look at a lot of things. It’s wild to me how people associate with the branding of this company.

In fact, my big behemoth of a company is something of a rock star.

In my many years working here, I’ve seen a LOT of people come by, whole families, mom, dad, kids and the dog, to have their picture taken in front of our corporate headquarters. More times than I can count I’ve had people ask me of there is a tour they can take. (Of what, I think…people working at their desks?).

Today I was walking back from a meeting, very thoughtful in my head, composing an email I need to send to an executive that needs to be a bit terse, but comes off as not terse. A fine line, I assure you.

I had occasion to walk by the main sign in front of our building and saw three Japanese tourists there taking photos of each other standing next to the sign.

I remembered how when I, hayseed that I am, was in New York and native New Yorkers would stop and ask if I wanted them to take the picture of me standing next to whatever thing I was taking a photo of. I thought it was SO nice and told many of them I no longer believed the bad rap that New Yorkers get for being mean. It was a love fest. And I’ve told that story to anyone who will listen.

With that in mind, I walked up to the group that was blocking the sidewalk. They turned to look at me, realized I was an employee and got a moment of “she works for the rock star” look in their eyes.

I said, “do you want me to take a picture of all of you?” while pointing and gesturing. The woman looked embarrassed and confused and looked at the man next to her. They exchanged words in their language then looked at the third man. I said again, “I’ll take a picture of all of you” and smiled as though that would somehow translate my American English. Then I began feeling bad because they didn’t understand me and I’d somehow accosted them on their vacation. I turned to walk away when the third man piped up and said “ok!” and without reservation, handed me his camera.

All grins and giggles the three piled up by the sign. I put down my books and sweater and made sure I had them in frame. I didn’t want to mess up this moment. They smiled, I smiled, the shutter went click. I looked at the LCD. It’s a nice photo of three friends, so happy to be by the sign of a company they admire, having their photo taken by an employee of the company.

I hope they have a good story to tell when they get home.