Uh oh. I went and did it again.
It was ANOTHER boring conference call.
And the marker board…it calls to me.
It’s my employer’s fault for giving me such a nice big marker board and a full accoutrement of colorful markers.
It can’t be helped. It really can’t.
Herewith, my latest seasonal doodle (click photo for larger size):
All the peppermint sticks and sugar cookies might be getting to me, ya know?
I’ll send the angels to watch over you tonight
And you send them right back to me
A lonely road is a bodyguard
If we really want it to be
— From “Sleeping in Paris” by Rosanne Cash
Yesterday I climbed into the Jeep and went on a long overdue road trip, just me and my steel beast, 130 highway miles and lots and lots of thinking.
The reason for the trip was nothing earth shattering, just had to head up to the north side of Sacramento to attend some work related meetings.
Clocking in at just under three hours, it was a ghastly drive, not only because it lacks any sort of interesting things to see, but the stop and go traffic kept me on my toes most of the way.
I left plenty early to avoid commute traffic but had no luck. California’s Highway 80 is a busy road no matter what time of day.
As I drove, dodging other cars, stepping quickly on my brakes for yet another slowdown, stopping to pay the toll on the Carquinez Bridge, and cursing under my breath, I yearned for a different sort of road trip.
Growing up in New Mexico, the ability to hop in the car for the sole purpose of a long thoughtful drive was something I took advantage of every chance I got.
While living in Albuquerque, sometimes I’d gas up the car and drive to Soccoro, only to turn around and drive home.
I can’t lie to ya, Albuquerque to Soccoro isn’t a visually interesting drive either, but once out of the city limits, it’s a pretty easy road with hardly any traffic. I’d set the cruise control on 75, point ‘er south in a straight line and let my mind work out the problems of the day.
Straight roads and very little traffic produce a very fine form of therapy.
My all time favorite drive and think road, however, is Highway 28 in southern New Mexico. The stretch of road from Las Cruces to La Union and back includes canopy of pecan trees arcing over the road, arboreal arms to embrace and hold me safe in case I need to cry.
I got a lot of thinking taken care of on Highway 28.
Not so much on California’s highway 80. The thinking was more like, “uh, stopping again? Why? Oh please don’t slam into me!”
But still, it was a road trip and there is something beautiful about me, my decade old Jeep, shuffle on the iTunes and a problem to work out in my mind.
Oh, by the way, something else happened while out there on the road.
First, this occurred:
Shocking, isn’t it?
Then, from out of nowhere, this happened:
(No, mom, I wasn’t driving almost 80 while taking a photograph of my odometer. Why do you ask?)
It’s the first car I’ve ever owned from fresh off the lot to one hundred thousand miles. Sort of proud of my little Jeep.
And just because I’m feeling gratuitous, here’s a quad cam shot of the Bay Bridge (because the Golden Gate gets all the love).
(Click for full size)
Ok, I’m wandering off the point here. Let’s tie this whole thing together, and get back to where we began.
I discovered today that any road, even a commute time busy three lane highway in Northern California can be a lonely road.
And a lonely road is a bodyguard if we really want it to be.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
All photographs by Karen Fayeth, and taken with my iPhone 4. Bay Bridge shot from the QuadCamera app.
Hazy thoughts
Dizziness
Dancing to Sinatra ballads with orange and blue plaid elephants
Tiredness
Excess saliva
Weird thoughts
Paranoia
Visual sparkles
Suddenly fluency in dead languages (Sanskrit mostly)
Dreams of flying
Walking with a tilt
Thinking I’m walking with a tilt when really I’m upright and the world has tilted
Understanding Dostoevsky’s work
Spontaneous giggles
Itchies
Refuting Nietzsche, adamantly, while wearing clothing upside down and backwards
Crossed eyes
Hair dysfunction
Voices telling me to buy more spray cheese
Sore toe
Sudden infatuation with sprinkler heads
Driving in a zig zaggy manner
Attempts to capture the many bats flying around the office (but not in that “Fear and Loathing kind of way)
Craving limes
Ability to converse with refrigerator
Ability to burp in three part harmony
Thirsty
——-
These are but a few of the side effects experienced that were not printed on the back of the Robitussin Bottle. Maximum strength.
Buyer beware.***
***Yes, I managed to get sick again. That’s twice in two months. I’m mostly over it but can’t stop coughing. I’ve decided that Robitussin is evil and shouldn’t be sold over the counter.
I have to stop riding the pink dragon. It’s altering my mind.
In a conversation with The Good Man, I ticked off the list of things to watch out for (as in, a bad reaction to the ‘Tussin). Aberrant behavior, moodiness, blackouts, etc. He replied, “How would I tell any of this apart from your everyday life?”
That is not a good sign.
For reasons I could explain, but are banal and long winded, I’ll just cut to the chase and tell you that I’ve been thinking a lot about superheroes lately.
Good superheroes. Dark superheroes. Flawed superheroes. Just…superheroes and their super powers.
Which got me to thinking today, as I waited in the lunch line, what sort of superpowers would I like to have if I got to choose?
I think things like seeing through buildings, swinging from webs or having adamantium claws are all well and good, but realistically, are they useful?
Flashy yes, but wouldn’t something a little more down to earth be more desirable?
Here are a couple ideas on the sorts of superpowers I’d lean toward:
The ability to eat whatever I want and not gain weight
Imagine it! I could save the world from illness and obesity by eating up all the snack foods!
Mayors could simply project a cookie in the sky and I’d come a’runnin’!
“Step aside small child, let me save you from that cotton candy.”
Or how about…
The ability to sleep for only two hours but feels like I slept eight
Can you *imagine* all the good I could do for the world if I only slept a few hours but felt fully rested! I could move mountains! I could persuade world leaders! I could travel long distances and not feel sleepy!
Yeess!
Ok, maybe that’s a lame one.
So let’s try:
The ability to read small print without squinting
Zap! Pow! Ka-zam!
I shall help out senior centers by announcing, “Bring me that medicine bottle! I will read every ingredient printed in a half-point font!”
Menus will hold no sway over me!
My Kindle can be set to the smallest font available!
My browser window can be reduced back to normal size!
I can save the world, or just myself, really, from the scourge of crow’s feet!
Oh, no, ok, I got it!
The ability to endure small people with a single sigh
It’s the key to world peace, truly.
(and I don’t mean short people….)
Now…I need a cape! Time to shop!
