Category: Opinions

What are ya doin’ New Year’s Eve?

Does anyone have any good ideas? I’ve been crazy into the holiday spirit but have to say I’m a bit worn down.

I’d be happy to stay at home and watch the ball drop in Times Square, but I’m getting the vibe The Cute Boy™ wants to do something more substantial, but not so substantial as to need a black tie.

I’m iffy. The more I’m away from work the more I’m starting to feel like myself. We’ve had quite the full social calendar all this month and I’m pooped. Here’s one of those “opposites attract” aspects of The Cute Boy™ and me. Me being born under the sign of Taurus, I am happy to enjoy a few evenings at home. When not working my tookus off at work, staying at home, reading a book, all of that works fine with some occasional social dates peppered in to keep it fun.

The Cute Boy™ on the other hand, likes to run (Gemini that he is). He’s got a lot more friends than I do and likes to make sure each get some time in any given month. He’s happiest with a calendar packed full of events.

It’s a push-pull dynamic that we usually seem to manage, actually. But right now, I’m getting a bit of my stubborn Taurus the Bull up. I hate to admit it, but I’m burned out from work. Burned out on people. Just teetering on the edge of full flame out and that scares me. The more I get a chance to catch up on my sleep, the more I realize how near the edge I was.

I don’t wanna do nuttin’!

That being said…I guess if we can come up with a good idea that is going out but not TOO out…I’m up for it.

And that’s what they call compromise. From what I’ve heard, it’s what keeps a relationship going…….

Image via.

Tummy. Full.

The Cute Boy™ and I pulled off a nice Christmas dinner. Ham, german potato salad, ravioli, and my very own homemade apple crisp that rocked the house. It was a very nice day and I’m grateful. I may get the hang of this entertaining thang yet.

Meanwhile, found this by way of NewMexiKen. I watched it and it touched me.

I’m thankful on this holiday that I have a home to live in, food to eat and friends and family who love me.

This four minute video was created by Mudhouse Advertising who will donate $1 to ArtStreet, a program for the homeless in Albuquerque, for every unique viewing (up to $10,000).

I learned in this video that New Mexico has the third highest poverty rate. Oh Fair New Mexico, the struggle continues.

Have yourself a Merry Little…

…whatever holiday you celebrate. I make no assumptions here.

The Casa de Karen and The Cute Boy™ is in tumult as we clean and scrub and prepare for guests tomorrow. I’m not much of a hostess with the mostess, so entertaining in my home always makes me a skosh edgy. Plus, among the guests tomorrow is Mother of The Cute Boy™ and in my silly female way, I’m still trying *very* hard to make a good impression on her. She’s a wonderful woman, a great cook and raised the man I love, so her opinion matters, you know? I tend to twist myself into a knot about it.

The food is all stocked in the fridge. The feline is unhappy about all the kerfuffle as we sweep and mop and vacuum. She thinks we all should be taking a nap. Have I mentioned that in my next life I want to be my cat? She’s got it real good around here.

I think things will all come together. Pretty much when you get good eats and good people together, magic happens. Joyful magic and I could use a bit of that in my life.

Meanwhile, everybody, enjoy your family, friends, homemade family (cuz the one you’re related to are intolerable), yourownselves, your pets and your holiday cheer.

And if the going gets tough, spike the egg nog.

Photo by Karen Fayeth

Guilt.

I have it.

What is it, exactly, about the holidays that makes guilt so possible?

True, I’m an easily guilted child. A fact my folks used to great advantage when raising me. And yet, the month of December seems to be the guilt month, no doubt.

Owing to my Catholic upbringing (I’m no longer practicing), guilt was sort of woven into my early life. And in the good Catholic tradition, confession is good for the soul…

I feel guilty that my mom is alone for the holidays. I mean, she’s not *really* alone, my aunt and uncle are nearby and look after her, but since my dad passed, she’s had a tough time of it. I shouldn’t feel guilty. My folks weren’t very people oriented, so they had few friends. In my mom’s waning years, she doesn’t have that many people to rely on and she’s honestly burned a few bridges with her children. She keeps wanting me to move closer to her. I just can’t (for many reasons). And years of hard mental work have told me that taking care of myself is important (and isn’t selfish). And so despite the fact that it’s the right thing for me to be here and live my life, I still feel guilty.

I feel guilty that I’ve been so involved in work and trying to finish up that I haven’t paid enough attention to my home life. The Cute Boy™ and The Feline are fine, they love me, support me, are happy I made it through. I guess I want to be all things to all people (and pets). I tend to take on all this guilt when I can’t be “perfect”. Ugh, what’s with that?

I feel guilty that I’ve eaten too many holiday cookies. :)

I feel guilty that I got my Christmas cards out late. I know, not a crime, but damnit! How hard is it to send out a few cards? (Hard enough when you are working too much and are exhausted….there goes that perfectionist thing again.)

I feel guilty that my job is a decent job and pays reasonably well but I actually don’t like it and want more than anything to flee. I should be more grateful for everything that place has done for me, and yet I just cringe going in there every day. I’ll spend the next two weeks pondering this one. I’ve reached critical mass. Time to you-know-what or get off the pot about this topic.

And of course, I feel guilty that I haven’t managed to update my blog most of this past week and so here it is, 7:40am on my first day off and I’m writing up a guilt post.

Good lord my brain is a complex place.

So as of this moment, I grant myself absolution. I don’t even have to do an act of contrition, I’m pretty contrite already.

My penance is to love myself a little more today. To ease up a bit. To hug my man and cat a bit more and to enjoy the hell out of my Christmas holidays.

Now I shall go out and make it so.

Point and Counter Point

I was caught a little off guard at the overwhelming response to my “Top ten things I miss about Christmas in New Mexico” post from a couple days back. I’ve been thinking about it a lot, how cool it is that my experiences are familiar to others.

So since it’s been a *really* long week at work, I’m not sleeping well, acid reflux is at an all time high, and I’m physically and mentally exhausted….oh and cuz it’s Friday, I decided to come up with my top ten things I DON’T miss about Christmas in New Mexico….tongue FIRMLY planted in cheek, of course.

< humor = "on" >

1) “OH MY GOD, SNOW IS FALLING FROM THE SKY, IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD!! I WILL DRIVE TOO FAST, RICCOCHET OFF OF PARKED CARS AND FORGET TO BRAKE SLOWLY, THUS SLIDING THROUGH INTERSECTIONS!” Yeah…my sister was a claims adjuster for a large insurance company for many years. Oh the stories she would tell after an Albuquerque snowstorm. You know, it snows at least once every year…why the freak out, folks?

2) The endless hearings of Feliz Navidad. In every store. On the street. In restaurants. I know I waxed rhapsodic about it a few days ago, but as with every year, after a few listens, I’m over it.

3) Nelson Martinez Mariachi Christmas. : shudder :

4) Another Kokopelli Christmas ornament. I am not one to look in askance at a gift from anyone, but damn, people! Christmas ornaments are a great gift, but change it up sometimes! How about a hummingbird? Or a fetish bear? I’m a southwest girl, sure, but the ol’ Kokopelli isn’t my fave guy. Plus, isn’t he a fertility bringer? Do I *really* need that?

5) Could it *be* any more difficult to park at Coronado Center at the holidays? Geez! (Ok, from what I hear, no one shops there anymore….but back in the day…it sucked)

6) Rasquache by the river. After I was into adulthood, my parents retired and moved to Los Chavez. They lived right near the river on the Bosque. It was kind of country out there and I loved it. But a lot of their rural neighbors would get their kids dirt bikes, ATV’s or new shotguns for Christmas…and of course they’d all run up and down the ditch roads trying out their new toys all day long. It was like a freaking war zone out there. It wasn’t *quite* country enough for all of that…

7) When there is not enough damn snow to ski on. Bah! Isn’t that was all that time off from work is for?!?!?! Can’t ski on dirt, people!

8) Kelly Liquor store is open on Christmas morning. Oh no, wait, that’s a good thing. Nevermind.

9) The not well organized Xmas display in my neighbor’s yard that stays up (and lit) until August. I am no electrician, but I’m pretty sure too many stacked up strings of lights in one feeble extension cord isn’t safe. Plus, does one yard really need a full size Santa with all three reindeer, a full on nativity scene with a plastic baby Jesus, and the sun faded flamingos? I mean REALLY!

10) That one funky hominy kernel in my bowl of posole that, despite resting in the pot all day with all his little corn kernel friends refuses to cook like a good hominy should. I mean, cooking down with pork and red chile is an honor, but nooo, you gotta stay like a rock and bust my back filling when I chomp down on you. Whatever! Just bring me good luck in the New Year and we’ll call it even.

You know, this list was a LOT harder to write than the last one. Guess that’s cuz Christmas in New Mexico rocks.

Enjoy, ya’ll, and have a happy weekend!