Category: Opinions

Watch where you’re pointin’ that thing, Mister!

Was out running errands at lunch and whippin’ my way back to the office after a successful jaunt.

Was on Highway 280, crusin’, and singing along to, I believe, Nelly, when I came around a blind curve to see a CHP pointing a gun at me.

Disconcerting to say the least.

I took leave of my senses. When I regained them, I realized it was a radar gun. Or actually lidar (uses laser instead of radio waves).

The good news is, that as I was cruisin’ and holding an in-car concert, I was following a mini-van. Meaning when I got clocked I was doing 65 mph, the legal speed limit.

Karen lives to see another day, ticket free.

But it took me a good ten minutes for my heart rate to settle back in.

Image via.

My lunch pal

I have a friend at work who, most days, I go to lunch with. Now, when I say “go to lunch” I should probably clarify.

She and I go together to the cafeteria onsite to grab some food that we take back to our respective desks. There at the desks, we eat and work, thus maximizing our time. You’d be surprised how busy noontime can be, seeing as we have main offices two time zones ahead…two o’clock there seems like a nice time for a meeting. Ugh.

My pal has worked here for a while, like me, and she and I are at the same level, reporting to the same manager.

We use the time on our walks to seek advice from each other. We talk over management problems. Or just to complain, because our employer inspires that in most of its employees.

She was raised in Ohio by a Steel Magnolia-of-a-mom straight out of the deep South. So that’s given her a certain, uh, colorfulness that is often amusing.

Lunch Pal is having some problems on her team, which means she gets pulled into last minute meetings and closed-door discussions in the office of our boss.

So I end up *waiting* on her until she finishes.

I tried going off for food without her a couple times.

It didn’t go over well.

No, I’m expected to WAIT on her to finish so we can walk over together. Who cares how hungry I am? It’s all about her.

Let’s face it, my friend is really kind of a pain in the ass.

So why am I wasting both bandwidth and pixels on her?

Because she’s on vacation this week!

HOW DARE she not be here?

She may be a pain in the ass, but she’s my pain in the ass.

Never thought I’d miss her…

I’m kind of having a day like this, too.

“A Milwaukee man was accused of shooting his lawn mower because it wouldn’t start.“

“He told police quote, ‘I can do that, it’s my lawn mower and my yard so I can shoot it if I want.'”

Darn tootin’, you can! Except for those pesky police!

Thankfully for my coworkers, I posses neither a lawnmower nor a shotgun.

But I might whing a mighty ballpoint pen at my computer screen.

I’ll do it too!

Yeah, baby!

week·end (wēk’ěnd’)

n. The end of the week, especially the period from Friday evening through Sunday evening.

—-
I’m in need of one of them thar things. ^^

Boss Lady remains on vacation but work rambles on.

Wedding Plans have hit Code Orange. High Alert, people. We’re down to the remaining few weeks. Last minute stuff is last-minuting.

The Good Man and I are still getting along, so that’s good. I am not a Bridezilla. He’s not a Groomzilla. Mainly, we’re just two adults gonna throw a nice party.

*******

Justifiable SmackDownacide

In an attempt to get through this long afternoon, I took one crisp dollar bill to the vending machine and procured one each plain Hershey Bar.

As I turned to walk back to my desk, the Office Nosy Nelly was standing there.

Of course she was.

As I walked back to my desk, she shouted down the hall “YOU CAN’T EAT THAT! YOU NEED PUT THAT BACK!”

“No,” I replied.

“WELL JUST EAT HALF. YOU CAN’T EAT ALL OF THAT! THAT’S TERRIBLE!”

“Your issue with chocolate is not my problem,” I said.

“LOOK, THERE’S NEAL AT THE END OF THE HALL, GIVE HIM THAT THING SO YOU DON’T EAT IT” (yes, she’s still shouting, trying to shame me).

I looked at Neal and said, “Sorry bro, you ain’t getting my chocolate.”

So why exactly do people think it’s their right to tell someone what they can and can’t eat?

Please present this blog entry to the jury. Thanks.