Getting My Geek On
Earlier in the week, a local sports radio guy posed the question to his callers:
“Star Wars Character draft, who’s your no. 1?” (this from the @DamonBruce Twitter feed)
Well, I was so geeked out over the start of Spring Training, I thought he meant baseball players. Turns out he meant basketball.
No matter, I brought up the question to The Good Man over lunch, which led to a rousing conversation about our all-Star Wars character baseball team.
The Good Man and I parted ways on a lot of the position players, but that’s ok. Debate is the heart of baseball.
Herewith are my starting nine (you’ll note I’m sticking to Episode 4,5 and 6 characters. I’m old fashioned that way):
First Base (and batting switch): Luke Skywalker. They guy can do yoga and is bendy. I need a guy who can stretch it out to grab the ball. He can “use the force” to figure out when a ball is coming hot down the line. Gotta keep it from rattling around in that weird right field corner at AT&T Park.
Second Base: Boba Fett. Solid hands. Decent footwork. Backed up by Yoda at short. Yeah, I’m ok with this choice. (yes, I know Fett is a bad guy. Go with me on this.)
Short: Yoda. Who else do you know that could pick it from the shoelaces and do a 360 to first for a double play? Gotta be Yoda.
Third: Obi Wan. Solid hands but an old guy. Too much action at first, third is his spot. I need him to nail down the hot corner and keep runners from scoring. I think an Obi to Yoda to Luke double play combination is *hot*. Keeps runners off balance. Yeah.
Left Field: Lando Calrissian. Look, Billie Dee is the MAN. He’s gotta bat clean up, can take it over the wall and look good doing it. Yup.
Center: Wedge Antilles. The guy’s an ace pilot. He’s lean. He can run. He’s got a good eye. I’ll bet he knows how to take a good route to the ball and can dominate that deep outfield at AT&T Park.
Right Field: Han Solo. Ok, the guy’s kind of a bumbler. I want him where he can do the least damage. I’m betting he can bat ok (but probably slump-y like Aaron Rowand) and can probably handle right (except I worry about him at AT&T Park). He’ll sometimes take a crappy route to the ball and you’ll want to put your head through the television. But mostly solid. The Good Man has Han Solo in left on his lineup card. I may agree with him…don’t know.
Catcher: Chewbacca. Furry Man has got the plate *sealed off*. Plus I bet he’s got a cannon on him. I see NO ONE stealing second with Chewy behind the plate. The Good Man has Chewbacca at third, and there is a good case to be made for that. I’m sticking with catcher. He’s a little tall for the job, but I think his knees can take it.
Pitcher: Well Darth Vader of course. Look, who else do you know in the Galaxy that has the control to throw a nasty 68 mph sinker followed by a 98 mph right up broadway and keep the batters off balance? He’s as ugly as Eric Gagne and twice as mean. You need a pitcher who can play mind games with the batters and Darth is your guy.
Here’s the lineup card I’m exchanging at the plate:
CF Wedge Antilles. Leadin’ us off with speed on the base paths.
1B Luke Skywalker. The guy can get on base and load ’em up for the 3 and 4 hitters.
C Chewbacca takin’ it deep or at least moving the runners.
LF Lando Calrissian batting cleanup. Might switch with Chewy if he’s on a streak.
3B Obi Wan
2B Boba Fett
S Yoda. Not a power hitter but he gets on base.
RF Han Solo. Where he can do the least damage.
P Darth Vader
Because where I come from, the pitcher has to bat. No designated hitter in my galactic ballgame.
I invite your own thoughts on the lineup. I can be persuaded….
I tried to get the wife to weigh in on this one. She loves stuff like this – always trying to recast Harry Potter, for instance, or modernize our secret shame (The Thorn Birds). But, while she is a huge baseball fan, she is not a big Star Wars fan, so she couldn't do it.
I mostly agree with you, except I think I'd have Yoda catch (think of the control Darth would have to show to hit THAT target). I'd move Chewie over to 1st and have hunky Luke Skywalker at shortstop. Hey, I'm from NY. We like the hunky short-stops.
But where on earth did you get that picture!?
LOL, I love "our secret shame" I love, love, love both the book and movie.
When my very Catholic grandparents came to visit, we had to hide the book. That made it all the more delicious!!
You make a good point about Yoda catching, a very good point, actually. He wouldn't even have to get into a squat! :)
And the photo just came from a Google images search for "star wars baseball." There was more there than you'd think!