The M Stands Accused
On or about the day of September 18 in the year of our Lord two thousand and twelve, the defendant was seen both loitering and malingering in the hallway at my place of employ.
Slouching fetchingly on the top of a lateral file cabinet. The tramp.
And on said date, on or about 3:42pm, the defendant stands accused of calling out in a beckoning, sultry, irresistible manner.
So alluring was this siren call that no reasonable man or woman, especially woman, could be expected to maintain even a modicum of self-control in the face of such raw, base power.
As a result of the defendant’s irresponsible actions, the victim was thusly lured to the defendant and did partake of the goodies offered thereto.
And it was good.
However, the defendant now stands accused of gross misconduct, excessive deliciousness, and being the addictive combination of sugar, fat and salt.
The victim hereby claims damages to her waistline, thighs and double chin. And a big pile of guilt on her shoulders for all to see.
And so, you criminal, you plague of society, you vile tempter, how to you plead in the face of such strong allegations?
Peanut Butter M&M’s, you sneaky bastards!
Playing silent eh? We’ll see about that.
You and your little friends, you are going to be put away someplace for a very long time.
A very, very long time.
Git in mah bellay!
Image from Terribly Awesome.