Well, You Asked!
There are many things in this world that I take evil glee in doing. Taking a flyer forced into my hands on the street and walking it right to the trash can. Hanging up on telemarkers. Shoulder bumping the oblivious spandex clad ladies on the nice wide walking path who won’t move over after I’ve moved over.
This is but a few examples.
This morning brought an especially fun one. You see, yesterday I had to call in to Very Large Telecom Company to make some changes to my mobile phone service. These were not changes I could make in a store or online, I was forced to call in.
After being on hold for fifteen minutes waiting for “the next available operator” and listening to a litany of bad advertising, I was finally connected to a call agent. Now, to be fair, the call agent was very nice and rather helpful.
She did tell me that Very Large Telecom Company would have to assess a “one-time fee” for making the change I was making.
I questioned this, “Let me get this straight…I’m only making a change in how this is billed and I always pay on time and I have been a long time customer and you are still charging me for this!?!?”
“Yes, ma’am, that is our policy.”
Well that cheesed me. No need to unload on the lady on the line, she’s just a minion.
“Oh fine,” I snapped, “Just make the change.”
Then it took another fifteen minutes as the call agent waited for their computer system to respond. Waited. And waited. And waited.
All in, the call took forty minutes of my time. FOUR ZERO minutes. Whisky. Tango. Foxtrot.
So, this morning, Very Large Telecom Company called me and asked me to take a survey regarding my experience yesterday.
Oh I do love it when I get to take a survey after a crap experience.
When I bought my first car, I was treated so poorly by the shark of a salesman that when I was sent a survey from the car manufacturer, I not only filled out the form, I attached three pages with details, figures, facts, dates and times. The shark was demoted to the used car lot and I was given several free tanks of gas. It wasn’t even the free gas I was after, I just wanted SOMEONE to know how poorly their employees were representing them.
Also, it should be said, if I get really good service and I am asked to take a survey, I will gladly answer the questions and sing praises. That kind of behavior should be rewarded. After managing two different call centers, I happen to know that often times these survey results are used in annual performance reviews for call staff.
So this morning, on every question that pertained to the call rep, I gave very high scores. She really was very lovely, and certainly stuck in a bad situation.
On every question that pertained to “call length” and “time to resolve the issue” I gave them the lowest possible marks. One on a scale of one to ten.
Look, Very Large Telecom Company doesn’t give two rat’s butts about my one on a scale of one to ten but hey, they asked.
It kind of felt good to say my piece. Felt good in that evil glee sort of way.
I do love me some survey.
Image from Savage Chickens by Doug Savage.